Advent Thoughts...

It seems to me that one of the biggest blessings and promises contained within the coming of Christ is comfort.

Not "comfort" like my fluffy slippers or my wuzzly bathrobe and favorite coffee mug... though my family will tell you I do enjoy them.

"Comfort" in the sense of someone who is worn, spent, hurting and in need of measures of grace -- that place of desolation and pain where you need consoling and restoring.

And God alone does that.

So when this song played on my "shuffle" mode this afternoon, I thought it completely Providential...

Clear words of comfort -- to God's tired, worn-down, sometimes rebellious, often confused, hurting, wondering, wandering, hoping, forgetful, longing, struggling, believing, but most of all HOPING people.

And that would definitely describe me...

God is so good...

Let ev'ry heart prepare him room...

Advent begins with a list of chores, wishes and lists... but it really should begin with a prayer of thanks and meditation on the goodness of God to send a Savior.

We move into the darkest part of the year to see the brightest Hope of the nations. As I told my kids, it doesn't really matter if December 25th was the ACTUAL day of Jesus' birth. The fact is - he was born, lived and died for us. And for that I am thankful...

Charles Wesley's hymn is on my mind this morning:

Come, O Long-Expected Jesus
By: Charles Wesley

Come, O long-expected Jesus,
Born to set your people free;
From our fears and sins release us
By your death on Calvary.
Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope to all the earth impart,
dear desire of ev'ry nation,
Joy of ev'ry longing heart.

Born your people to deliver,
Born a child and yet a king;
Born to reign in us forever,
Now your gracious kingdom bring.
By your own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By your all-sufficient merit
Raise us to your glorious throne.

I pray I will continue to have a "longing heart" for the return of our Reigning King...

Deb

First Candle...

We lit the first candle on our advent wreath at lunch today. It's a sign of the Advent season for me - a reminder that the seasons fly by, and we've made another circle around the sun.

We usually sing the same song as the candles burn...

O Come O Come, Emmanuel
and ransom captive Israel
that mourns in lowly exile here
until the Son of God appears.
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee,
O Israel.

It was good to begin this season with some hope and the promise that God will bring to our world, one day. Looking forward to the second Advent, celebrating the first.

Today we delivered The Johnnie to her ride back to campus... it was hard to see her go. We needed each other this weekend. We needed to be reminded of the love between us and the importance of LIFE -- even in the sucky times.

(We also had a great laugh... Apparently The Johnnie, when she was little, didn't hear the words right to our Advent wreath plainsong. She thought it was "that mourns in lonely eggs aisle here"... and was confused. She couldn't figure out why it was "lonely" in the "eggs aisle" of the grocery store...)

Reedy Girl and I put up the outdoor Christmas lights and that, too, was a celebration of life and light...

I'm just so thankful...

Today...

...had exercise, baking, driving lessons, bike riding lessons, shopping, packing, laundry, and homework.

In other words, we really didn't do much of the tasks that are waiting us at Mom V's home. But it's OK. It's kind of a mini-vacation from all that is ahead. (Actually, since it is a holiday weekend, the rector of her church isn't available by phone, and we're waiting for the business office of the nursing home to open on Monday...)

The Johnnie goes back to school tomorrow, and Reedy Girl back to classes on Monday... I already wish this weekend had an extra day in it...

sigh...

Released...

Mom V was released last night... she passed away about 9 p.m. shortly after we left from seeing her after dinner.

There's blessed relief and grief all rolled into one.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord...

A day of mixed feelings...

I am about to start the preparation for Thanksgiving Dinner...

It's hard to believe that a month ago it was a very different set of plans that included friends from church, family and football.

Today we will sandwich in (no pun intended!) the meal with a visit to the nursing home to see how my mother-in-law is doing. We'll hang with our kids and watch something from Netflix or maybe play a game... but emotionally and mentally, we're really not up for more than that.

We have offers to visit folks, hang out, "be family" -- but the truth is, we're waiting for a phone call or to have a visit that seems like it will be our last.

Yet in the middle of this waiting... there is laughter, and there is a lot of love. I am a fortunate woman...

For instance, this morning, Bearded Brewer woke up with this song on his mind...

Joy to the world!
All the boys and girls!
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea!
Joy to you and me!

And now that song is stuck in MY mind!!! (and maybe yours???)

But in a Providential way, that song is true. So much of life is JOY. JOY for the little things that God steeps us in and that we can celebrate. I realized that I spend a lot of time waiting for the next "thing" to happen. Today I am going to try and live life fully aware of the blessings that surround me. I'm not "waiting" on anything except the next moment God directs into my life...

²⁰ We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

²¹ In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

²² May your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

- from Psalm 33

I truly hope you all have a blessed, joyous Thanksgiving!

Deb

Today...

- all of my family is home!
I retrieved The Johnnie from her dorm this morning, and Reedy Girl is finished with her high school classes as of lunchtime.
Bearded Brewer is scheduled off for two days (Wednesday-Thursday) and we will enjoy some down time together. What will it be? A rousing game of Apples 2 Apples or Mexican train???

- we have worked through some of our impasse with the nursing home regarding hospice for my mother-in-law
While there are some things we are not happy about (i.e. having to nag them to keep her pain at bay) they have been responsive and have taken the time to at least listen to our concerns. We'd prefer she could be enrolled in hospice, but the state bean counters and their holy "Certificate of Need" seem to make it impossible to provide an individual with services as requested. So until there's a bed... she's being watched with many kind hearts and gentle hands...

- we are full of grace and peace
Yesterday Ruth came up and led the four of us (Bearded Brewer, MIL and me) in a Rite II Eucharist. There are such comforting words in the liturgy. Though she could not speak, she was clearly following. I am grateful for the gift of grace in the Bread and Cup, and for a servant-hearted friend like Ruth. God's Presence has been touching mine all day. It's a gracious gift.

Wherever you are - may you have that same sense of God's Presence.

Blessed Thanksgiving to you!

A living prayer

In this world I walk alone
With no place to call my home
But there's one who holds my hand
The rugged road through barren lands
The way is dark, the road is steep
But He's become my eyes to see
The strength to climb, my griefs to bear
The Savior lives inside me there

In Your love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee

In these trials of life I find
Another voice inside my mind
He comforts me and bids me live
Inside the love the Father gives

In Your love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee

Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee

today's list...

- Bearded Brewer's suit to the dry cleaners
- buy eggs so that Reedy Girl can bake (don't ask how old the eggs are in my fridge.)
- maybe get The Johnnie from campus - maybe do that tomorrow
- get music and CDs for Mom V's room to block the hall noise in the nursing home (it is NOT restful!)
- have a prayer and communion with Bearded Brewer, Ruth C and Mom V - she is coming to do a special prayer and Eucharist (she has the OLD BCP thankyouverymuch) which Mom V will appreciate hearing, even if she is now basically nonverbal
- do other chauffeuring and household chores...
- love on my family...
- cry

I have already...
- burned a pot on the stove
- washed a load of towels for the 3rd time since they never made it to the dryer - again!!
- lost my keys (and found them)
- have soup in the crockpot and bread in the bread machine for dinner...

countdowns...

Two stickies off the timeline... six to go. Life is not predictable, so I'm wondering if they will all get done. And if they don't, they don't.

I may get my first "B" in seminary this semester.

And I don't care.