Thursday, October 25, 2007

Poetry Party #6

Abbey of the Arts is hosting her next Poetry Party... She writes...

I’ve been reflecting a lot on grief and brokenness lately – I think there is something beautiful in our capacity to mourn over loss, to have an instinctual longing for life, to grow from our woundedness. Below is an image I took at Mt Rainier this summer and then altered in Photoshop as an experiment. Feel free to take your poem on the beauty of brokenness in any direction you please. I look forward to your marvelous gifts of words.

This picture struck an immediate chord with me. I am stepping into God's Call more and more surefootedly - more and more openly. And with so much joy! The dry places are being watered. The barren places are full of growth. It is stunning. It is envigorating. It is also terrifying. Because the picture is one that is in MY mind - of how I perceive myself. I think, as I ponder it all, that in GOD'S mind, it is blooming and lush and there are birds and animals and JOY raining down everywhere in showers of petals and leaves...

I guess you need to know this... Years ago, I started down a path towards vocational ministry. It was hard. I was young and stupid. I did not have supportive mentors and encouragers. I was beaten back, beaten down, ignored, chastised, vehemently rebuked for daring to try to be a pastor (after all, I am female!) and even scolded and told I had "no gift for ministry" -- and in my confusion, I believed these voices of condemnation...

(Anyway, having said all that... Here's my entry.)

Never say never.

Once I said I'd never climb again.
I said I wouldn't try to scale
the heights
the depths
the rough places
of caring and listening
of preaching and teaching
of serving and pouring out.
It hurt too much.
Even though the Call was unmistakeable,
the Pull relentless,
I was afraid. I said NO.

It's been years.
The branches that bore fruit are starting to bear again.
The places that were pruned give new growth.
And here I am...
Back in harness.
Full of challenge.
Full of joy.
I am doing what I was MADE to do.
It's amazing.
It's freeing.
It's all God.

This time, though
I climb with focus and intent
I climb with steady progress and thoughtful plans
And that safety harness?
Yes. You bet.
Jesus hasn't let go of me yet!

Deb Vaughn


Dorcas (aka SingingOwl) said...

I love this. I needed it today, so thank you.

Abbey of the Arts said...

What a beautiful expression of resistance and defiance of all those old voices and a celebration of the new. Thanks so much for joining the party again!

Lori said...

"Jesus hasn't let go of me yet!"

and he never will.

Great poem.