Thursday, November 29, 2007

Friday Five: "Don't Call It a Comeback" Edition

Will smama from RevGals offers this bah humbug Friday Five. And she made me laugh -- hard -- mid-paper! Gotta LOVE her!

Parishioners pushing for carols before you digested your turkey?
Organist refusing to play Advent hymns because he/she already has them planned for Lessons & Carols?
Find yourself reading Luke and thinking of a variety of ways to tell Linus where to stick it? (Lights please.)
Then this quick and easy Friday Five is for you! And for those of you with a more positive attitude, have no fear. I am sure more sacred and reverent Friday Fives will follow. I know, I know.... pretty grumpy for November but why not get it out of our systems now so we are free to enjoy the rest of the festivities. Peace, friends.
Please tell us your least favorite/most annoying seasonal....
1) dessert/cookie/family food
This is NO contest. Can there be ANYTHING more inedible than a fruitcake? Yes, I know you can add brandy or rum to them and that is supposed to "help" them taste better. I can think of other things that would do those spirits justice. Fruitcake. BLICK. EW.

2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc...)
Hmmmm.... the only thing I can think of is that fizzy green punch with the ice ring floating in it that has ginger ale and sherbet in it and is sickly sweet.

3) tradition (church, family, other)
Bad Christmas music. Sung by people who think they can sing, but they can't. One of us needs more eggnog. I would prefer it be me. See Bonus below...

4) decoration
Blue lights, strung like a glow worm in a bad design across a bush or two. Or maybe those huge inflated snowglobes???

5) gift (received or given) That's a toughie. Might be the electric knife that didn't cut anything (and I found crumbs in the box so I think the giver had already found out it didn't cut anything either.)

BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it.
We have all heard a soloist give a truly unfortunate rendition of any and all of the following...
PA RUM PUM PUM PUM and a partridge in a pear tree... and it's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size... I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus... Oh Night, oh Hooooooooooooooooohh {glass breaking} ooooooohhhh - leeeee - heeeeee nigh-TUH. Oh Niiiiiiiiiiiiiigh-TUH....... DEEEE-Vine!

There.
I feel better.
Even with three papers and 7 days in which to BS I mean write them.

Deb

24 comments:

Diane said...

oh, I forgot all about the Little Drummer Boy (must have repressed it).

Good to laugh a little... happy paper writing.

"PS" (a.k.a. purple) said...

Your Holy Night cracked me up. Add the overdone vibrato and lack of a soprano voice...

cheesehead said...

You have GOT to see how similar our answers are! I swear I didn't see yours until just now!

zorra said...

Your rendition of "O Holy Night" made me laugh...how often has that poor song been slaughtered...

Elane said...

ah, the pics add something special!

Iris said...

You're cracking me up here, Deb! I hate those snowglobes, too.

Counselor in Process said...

Boy! You really got it off your chest. I loved it especially the medlly of songs!

Cathy said...

Oh how funny! We do have alot of the same things! I just howled with the part of "one of us needs more eggnog" - now what does that do to your throat but clog us up more.. but it sure gives the buzz.

Cathy said...

OH yeah, some of you have not had reallY GOOD fruitcake.

Sally said...

yup I hate those snow globes too....but I love fruit cake!

Songbird said...

Oh, the re-gifting! That is tragic!

Mrs. M said...

I'm laughing at the crumbs in the box.

chartreuseova said...

I grew up with the fizzy punch with ginger ale and sherbet at every party. But ours was always red from Hawaiian Punch. I was good then, probably not so much now.

RevDrKate said...

Crumbs in the box wins for tacky re-gifting prize of the season! Also loved the medley! Too, too funny. Glad you rose from the papers to play.

will smama said...

Classicly played.
Good luck on the papers!

jill said...

so, so funny! the knife. the oh holy night. seriously--stop!

Hedwyg said...

Okay, so you just made me snort Diet Dr Pepper through my nose. The night divine! The crumbs in the box! OMG!

Bah humbug! :-)

Happy Friday,
Hedwyg

Barbara B. said...

LOL! Yes, 'O Holy Night' is a real glass-breaker!!

Singing Owl said...

Snorting in glee at your Friday Five....

Queen Mum said...

Yep, the crumbs in the box win.

DogBlogger said...

Thanks for the BIG laugh you gave me with your bonus!

And to go with your electric knife, a friend of mine once got an electric bun warmer in a "fashion color" 25 years old, with a partially-completed product warranty card in the box... why do people do this stuff?

Reverend Dona Quixote said...

The crumbs in the knife box speak volumes about the crumb who gave it to you ... :D

And if you write your papers as well as you communicated the exquisite torture of an overly dramatic poorly sung final refrain of "O Holy Night," you'll get A++

Sue said...

*applause applause*

Excellent play.

RevAnne said...

Crumbs in box...shameful.
With you on fruitcake, and the Little Drummer Boy...