Reflecting on the last weeks

These last two weeks have been a whirlwind...

I had back-to-back modulars, one on worship leading and one on spiritual formation. The time away from home was hard because I missed my family. BUT... the time spent with God was encouraging and rejuvenating. I'm still a bit scattered on exactly what I am learning and processing. A few things are clearer...

I am uniquely gifted in leadership and that means I must not compromise in terms of a ministry assignment.  As I talked and prayed with others, it became clear that I have come to a watershed moment. I have faced some prejudice. I have made mistakes. But I have also learned that some of the problems I have had were because I "settled" for something that was not a good ministry "fit" for my gift set.

I am reminding myself, again and again, that I am beloved and cared for by my Savior God. It is nothing I do -- it is everything God is and the relationship I have. For someone who gets a wee bit driven, this takes off the perfectionist lens and puts things in perspective. I do nothing to earn God's love. It is everything God IS that forms the love relationship between us.

Time is fleeting. The seasons are changing. Our girls are growing. Life based on circumstances is futile. Life based on God is eternal.

Transitions suck. There's no predictability. There's no clear path. All I know is that God is in the mix. And I truly can rest in that.

Here's a few photos from the last few days...  I think they shout of God's Presence and love...

Let the field exult, and everything in it!
Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy
before the Lord, for he comes,
for he comes to judge the earth.
He will judge the world in righteousness,
and the peoples in his faithfulness.

 Psalm 96:12-13

 

Looking out towards the lake at the 4-H Wakefield center.

 

A little surprise snow shower frosted the ground.

 

The slow melt of snow with water droplets on the berries... so pretty!

The water in the swamp freezes in fern-like patterns. I have never seen that before!

 

I heard God say, "Come sit with Me awhile!"

 So I did...

Thinking in 1 Timothy

Continuing my New Testament readings... today in 1 Timothy 1:

The whole point of what we're urging is simply love—love uncontaminated by self-interest and counterfeit faith, a life open to God. Those who fail to keep to this point soon wander off into cul-de-sacs of gossip. They set themselves up as experts on religious issues, but haven't the remotest idea of what they're holding forth with such imposing eloquence. 1 Timothy 1:5-7 [The Message]

It's difficult to read this verse and be someone who believes that one's faith should be lived out in the public square. Blowhards are a dime dozen, particularly on the internet. (For a thought-provoking post, on this, see Variety's analysis of web blowhards...) I do not want to become someone who is an "expert" without "the remotest idea" of what I'm talking about. There are far too many coached sound bites and far less discussion on important issues that we face as churches and as a nation!

And yet, to be silent and not speak up is just about impossible. Particularly when it is an issue that is a passion or an injustice that is too often ignored!

Rather than suggesting we NOT respond to the issues around us, I believe that this instruction is instead an exhortation to carefully, prayerfully and lovingly respond to the injustices and issues we see every day. It doesn't mean you start a snarky blog about someone who isn't the "right" flavor of religion. It also doesn't mean you make assumptions and then tell everyone what you think someone means (this is also called "gossip!") Finally, it doesn't mean that you mock other people because they don't preach/worship/dress/live the way you do. (Yeah. That sounds obvious. But I've heard -- and participated in -- these conversations. And so have you, if you're honest.)

So, "living a life open to God" means that you take the time to consider your off-the-cuff responses to life's situations. It requires some honest self-examination every day. And it means that you consider what it means to extend God's love to another human being. Caring without seeking your own agenda or self-interests. Correcting without trying to bolster your "niche" or "target audience."

That's a tall order. But after listening to several weeks of "How would Jesus insure?" I think that perhaps this verse is more apropos than we think!

Deb

Morning Prayer...

(I don't often have time to blog in the morning, but wanted to this morning after receiving a huge dose of encouragement from my morning reading...)

We pray for you all the time -- pray that our God will make you fit for what he's called you to be, pray that he'll fill your good ideas and acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to something. If your life honors the name of Jessus, he will honor you. Grace is behind and through all of this, our God giving himself freely, the Master, Jesus, Christ, giving himself freely. (2 Thess 1:12-13, The Message)

It always astounds me to have a prayer that seems meant "for my ears only" leap of the pages of the Bible.

I was feeling pretty discouraged this morning. I'm struggling with Greek (REALLY struggling) and have found it harder than I figured it would be. And I'm facing a busy week with ministry, family, school and "life" so I know I'm at a time crunch. When you know you are swimming upstream, it's daunting. It was hard to toss off the covers and start the day.

After Reedy Girl left for the bus an hour ago, and I had a bit of time with the Bearded Brewer, I started my morning routine. A wave of discouragement poured over me. I'd love to say it was lack of sleep (though I was up late last night grading papers!) but it is more than that.

It was not a lack of faith, but honesty, that showed me this summer that the kinds of things God has called me to do are not options where I worship and serve right now. It was the reason God graciously dropped a teaching assistantship into my lap, to begin to transition me into whatever role in ministry is next. What I once thought were options, God seems to have taken off the table. I know there is something God has in mind for me. The problem is, I don't really know what that is.

But. God. Does...

As I continue to read through the New Testament, I'm starting 2 Thessalonians. I know Paul was writing to the church in Thessalonica and it was almost 2000 years ago. But the words in my morning reading were exactly what I needed as a reminder.

I think we all face this battle of discouragement from time to time. It's especially hard to believe that God is battling through life with us when the day seems to be way too short for our responsibilities!

Yet... God is there...

When the tasks seem mountainous...
When there are more questions than answers...
When we act in good faith and find out we are being second-guessed...
When the gossip mill makes up what it can't find out...
When we show kindness to someone and are taken advantage of...
When we are ridiculed because we choose a different path...
When we serve willingly and get used up...
When we make mistakes and pay the price dearly in terms of our own time and resources...

God is there...

I don't have answers. I do have God's strength and peace and power, holding me up.

And so I start today, choosing to walk through a day that attemps to honor God...

Deb