And behold, a great stink arose...

And it came to pass that the Beloved Bearded Spouse (who shall also be known as BBS) spake unto his family: "I shall maketh a brew or two and all shall be completed before another day passeth. For mine storehouse is but empty of all but the most expensive brews."

And his family, though great with patience, sayeth, "please, no!" and "why must it be when we are home?" and "but mine friends are coming over they will like it not!" And the beloved of BBS sayeth, "but hath thou not promised to bring down today a Christmas tree for a time unto decoration?" However, the calendar appointment prevailed, and the BBS went forth and brewed.

And behold, a great stink arose. And the neighbors and those who came to the place where it brewed sayeth, "What is this smell that we have come upon, for it hurteth our nostrils?"

And in the steeping of the grain there was great consternation, for the stove caused it to runneth over. And in the stewing of the malt, there was an aroma not unlike the downwind side of the Brew-wiser plant. And in the pitching of the yeast and the adding of oxygen and the casting of sugar, there came much foam.

And the family sigheth, "surely, it shall not continue forever." For they were very tired.

Now behold, a new day cometh. And with the airlock and the keg, there was much bubbling. The contents of barrels doth bubble and make noise in the house. And there was a smell like unto a wild yeast in the air. And they looked at one another and sayeth, "when shall it make an end?"

And the BBS said, "when it is finished!"

So they went on their way and prayeth for a quick work of the sugars to be done, so that it would be potable. For verily, the beloved of the BBS said that yea, it had, when it was not well contained, tasteth like unto the straining of bad brew through dirty socks. And only the slugs in the garden drank it, for the humans could not.

And of the washing and putting away of equipment there was some. And of the piling of the rest unwashed there was much. And they still loveth one another any way...

Friday Five: Adventually

From RevGalBlogPals: Although it comes as late as it can this year, Advent is upon us. Some of us grew up observing it, while to others (including this childhood Baptist) it was even more foreign than Lent! Over the past twenty years, I have grown to love Advent as a season of preparation, although as a pastor I find it harder to practice it at home than at church, even when the church might prefer I make it the other way 'round.

Here are five questions about Advent for this first of December:

1) Do you observe Advent in your church?
NOoooooooooooo... but we are located near an Adventist Hospital... does that count? ;)

2) How about at home?
Not really. I do have an Advent wreath and we light an increasing number of candles each week... And we talk about it. And we read Scripture. But if you mean, do we sit around and hold hands and sing plainsong in Latin, and read the BCP, that would be NO.

3) Do you have a favorite Advent text or hymn?
Actually, I have several. But because you want STRICTLY Advent, not Christmas, I have to say that I like one that's in German: Macht Hoch die Tür. (Open the Gates). If you mean favorite but un-singable my Joe and Josie Congregant, than hands down it's "Ev'ry Valley Shall Be Exalted" from Handel's Messiah!

4) Why is one of the candles in the Advent wreath pink? (You may tell the truth, but I'll like your answer better if it's funny.)
Well, it was purple last year but I left it on the dashboard of my car in the hot summer sun (don't ask and please don't tell FlyLady!) and all of its color faded. Good thing I left it in the wrapper because it would have stuck the dash and been an even stranger shape (the cellophane kinda kept it looking cylindrical with only one flat side...)

5) What's the funniest/kitschiest Advent calendar you've ever seen?
Hard one... probably a paper pop-up one that looked like the animal kingdom in bathrobes with towels tied on their heads... I know it was supposed to be a nativity scene, but...

I actually have some stuff to put up for Advent on my blog. Just have to get it done... papers and quizzes first...

From our home to yours...
Deb

Check. Check. Check. Is this on?

You musicians out there know what I mean. It's time for the weekly "sound check" and you stare blankly at your beloved techie at the board when it's your turn and say something wise like "check-check... check... one-two" or if you have enough caffeine in you, you might be witty and say "check-cash-credit" or something else much overused.

Well, as a public service, I am compiling a list of things to say or sing when you must produce something for your next sound check. (Note to guitarists: Stairway to Heaven in ANY key is NOT ON THIS LIST! please...)

In no particular order, the Baroness of Sound Checks (that would be me - Baroness because "Queen" sounded presumptuous!) suggests the following:

1. Cheryl Wheeler's Potato Song (which is set to the tune of the Mexican Hat Dance.)
2. Dr. Suess's Tweetle Beetles soliloquy which is not set to music but is great inflection and diction practice!
3. Words to any camp song that your children brought home from camp and you can't quite remember all the words. (And yes, you did pay good money for them to learn "great green gobs of..." Well, you know...)
4. The Twelve Days of Christmas, with your own words, natch, because who can remember the real ones?
   
5. Any bad imitation of the rock star of your choice. Bob Dylan doesn't count unless you want to practice your mumble...
6. Scripture memory show-off. If you've gotten all those "begats" down from Matthew 1, here's the time to speak 'em.
7. I should mention some patter song from Gilbert & Sullivan... Perhaps "Modern Major General"?
8. The Llama Song makes my kids happy...
   
9. No opera. No no no.....
   

Your techies will love you forever if you do this. I promise.

Check. Check. Check. Is this on?

from our home to yours...
Deb

ABC's of Faith

This is from something I get in my email every day called "Sound Bites". It is a free, week day e-mail ministry in memory of Dustin Wilkinson, 1982-1998. Rev. Dave Wilkinson is founder and editor. SOUND BITES originates from First United Methodist Church in Green Bay, Wisconsin, USA. Visit their web site for more information.


THE ABC'S OF FAITH
Accept Christ
Be kind
Count your blessings
Dive into God's Word
Express thanks
Forgive one another
Give freely
Harm no one
Imagine heaven
Jettison anger
Keep confidences
Love truly
Master sin
Nurture the faith of children
Open your heart
Pray constantly
Quell rumors
Reciprocate love
Seek God's will
Touch someone's grief
Understand differences
Value truth
Win souls for Christ
X-ray your motives
Yearn for peace
Zealously support your church

-- Unknown

Praying my way...
Deb

Christmas music

Advent/Christmas Music Meme

Psaltery posted it (at least that's where I read it first!) She says it's from Sue at Inner Dorothy. At any rate, here's a meme on Advent and Christmas Music. Feel free to re-post or answer as you will.

1. What are your favorite Advent/Christmas hymns?
Can't say that anyone sings this one around the house, but me... however, I do love "Hush, My Babe" (Also known as "The Cradle Hymn.") Another favorite is "All This Night My Heart Rejoices." WHAT?? Don't know either one of those... sigh.. OK, OK! I do love "Joy to the World" too!

2. Which are your least favorite?
"In the Bleak Midwinter" and "The Friendly Beasts!"

True story about "The Friendly Beasts": Every year throughout elementary school we sang that song in Junior Choir. We kids knew it by heart after about two weeks. For some reason, the adults in charge did not. To entertain ourselves through mindless, endless rehearsals, we would sing the verses with animal-sounding voices. Imagine... "I-i-i-i-i said the do-o-o-o-o-ve from the ra-a-a-a-a-fters high, Coo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooed Him to sleep..." or "Mooooooooo-I said the moooooooooo-cow all mooooooooooo-white and mooooooooooooooo-red..." For some reason Mrs. Mac, the choir director, did NOT appreciate our creativity!! (evil giggle...)

3. Which secular seasonal songs make you want to run screaming into traffic?
This is almost the hardest one... "Rudolph"?? Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas"?? "Christmas Shoes"?? Or Rosie and Elmo (or anyone for that matter) singing "Do You Hear What I Hear"??? Yick. Please. No. NOooooooooooooo!!!!!

4. Do you play Christmas music around the house and in the car? What are your favorite holiday CDs?
Yes, actually I do. And the kids do too. When I am feeling punchy and can't stop giggling it's time for Jingle Cats. (don't worry - I won't play it when you come over... unless you beg me!) But seriously?? My favorites are the ones from Maggie Sansone and friends, the Celtic Christmas ones (especially Beth can now play many of them on her harp!), and our full version of Messiah. And there's probably others.

Hmmmm.... I may have to re-visit this later in the month.

Tunefully yours...
Deb

Songs my children teach me...

Ah yes, it's time to get songs stuck in your head... Especially with the Christmas season and every store playing a version of "Silver Bells" or "Rudolph"! I think it's time to have a different tune! Just for fun, mind you.

I have my darling daughters to thank for this one... Fair warning: the song will get stuck in your head! (insert evil chuckle here!)

Whistling a nonsensical tune at our home... may it be stuck in yours...
Deb

Black Friday Five

Reverendmother posted on RevGalBlogPals:
My husband accompanied my brother this morning to stand on line for a Nintendo Wii. They headed out at oh-dark-thirty this morning but were, sadly, thwarted. There were 30 people in line for 6 units. They are trying to be philosophical about it--"That's the most I was willing to do, so I'm OK with it... imagine the people who waited for hours!" my brother said. So this is a "Black Friday" Five (aka Buy Nothing Day) in honor of the busiest shopping day of the year:

1. Would you ever/have you ever stood in line for something--tickets, good deals on electronics, Tickle Me Elmo?

NOPE. No way. Nada. Not even for the Buckeyes!

2. Do you enjoy shopping as a recreational activity?

Do I have to share the store? Do I have a budget? Do I have recalcitrant companions? Then no.

3. Your favorite place to browse without necessarily buying anything.

A place where I'm not tempted to buy anything because the prices are so ridiculously high -- like the stores with the massaging easy chairs or the one with $1000.00 ink pens!

4. Gift cards: handy gifts for the loved one who has everything, or cold impersonal symbol of all that is wrong in our culture?

Depends on the store you choose and the amount... If you buy me a gift card for $5 to "Large Fat But Noble Women's Clothing" I might be insulted. But if you give me a gift card from a book store for more than the cost of a real book, I will be cool with that. Besides, for my younger relatives, a card to Best Buy or the like makes them very happy.

5. Discuss the spiritual and theological issues inherent in people coming to blows over a Playstation 3.

I John 2: 15-16 Don't love the world, neither the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the Father's love isn't in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, isn't the Father's, but is the world's.

We are not going out shopping today, but we are going to have dinner out with the girls and see a movie... just because the calendar is free and we've been waiting to go see "Happy Feet" with them. Somehow I think the economy will get along without us just fine!

From our (possibly cheapskate) home to yours...
Deb

I am blessed!

The pies are cooling on the counter...
The cranberries have just finished popping open...
The bread for stuffing has been cut, toasted and prepped...
The turkey is FINALLY defrosted and waiting...
The pumpkin bread has already been cut and "taste-tested"...
The table is set, the silver polished...
It's almost time.

Time to stop and really remember how blessed I am. How I have a home, family, friends, a great church, an Emmaus community, and many more "things" than I need.

But it's not just the "things" and the people who are a blessing to me. It's the relationship I have with God - the big Guy.

You've given me joy,
You've given me love,
You give me strength when I want to give up.
You came from heaven to rescue my soul.
You are the reason I know,
I know... I am blessed, I am blessed
From when I rise up in the morning,
'Till I lay my head to rest,
And I feel You near me,
You soothe me when I'm weary.
Oh, Lord,
For all the worst and all the best,
I am blessed.

- Rachel Lampa

That's all... nothing else... I just wanted to be thankful for a moment...
I AM BLESSED!

from our home to yours - may you have a happy and blessed Thanksgiving!

Deb

Just call me "Counselor"

TOOO funny! (I really WANTED to be Worf!) Now if I only looked that good in a body suit... sigh...
Deb

Your results:
You are Deanna Troi
You are a caring and loving individual.
You understand people's emotions and
you are able to comfort and counsel them.


Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test

Quoting without comment

Most pastors I know do not have satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives. At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors’ wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either. (Mark Driscoll)

See the whole post here...

Since I'm not (yet) a pastor, nor am I a pastor's wife, I'll not comment. Ooohhh, I'd like to. But I'll practice biting my tongue and go reread James... HOWEVER -- you, my friend, visiting this blog have a choice to comment with a personal (but Christ-filled) thought, so feel free...

Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God's righteousness doesn't grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life. [James 1:19-21, The Message]

From our home to yours...
Deb