Falwell's passing

Jerry Falwell passed away today, May 15th, after being found unresponsive in his office at Liberty University.

While I know he was beloved and cared for by many, including his family, church, students and supporters, I have always felt he was a mixed bag of blessing and embarrassment for evangelicals.

Like any person who stands in a position of leadership, it is easy to take potshots at him. He stood out in a crowd of televangelists and Baptist preachers. He was unashamedly Republican, and a conservative one at that. He seemed to join Pat Robertson in the "GWB foot-in-mouth club" for his amazingly inept public statements. Yet at some level he was likeable and personable, like some grandfatherly relative who bumbled along and you could tolerate because it was "just how he was."

Even his ghostwriter, Mel White, who came out of the closet and later founded Soulforce, admitted in an NPR interview:

"Jerry Falwell is a person you like immediately, up close and personal," White says. "He doesn't take himself seriously. He enjoys life. And even while he says some of the meanest things, it's hard to not like him."

As I ponder Falwell and people like him (such as the Chancellor of a certain Mideast seminary,) I truly don't know what to think. Initially I either want to scream or throw water balloons at them...

But then I ponder and pray, and have a variety of emotions and thoughts...

As a woman called to the pastorate, they annoy me tremendously for their stuck-in-their-ways values and narrow views of ordination.

As a mother, I appreciate their concern for the rising statistics of teenage sexual experimentation, and their voice against literature and the arts which subjugate or devalue women and girls (call it porn, tweenerbopper music, or designer kiddie fashionistas, it ticks me off!)

Somehow, somewhere, I pray for a gentler, honest voice on the issues he had raised. A dialog of listening, writing and accepting that people can differ in their opinions and still respect each other. Without being cocky, self-righteous or overconfident that one is always right... that would most definitely be my desire... so the learning and the listening and the heart of prayer for God's peace and right-ness starts with... ME!

The healing of the world does not begin in some far-off land that we must hasten to help, but in the geography of your own heart. There the sinner is washed in mercy and becomes thereby an instrument of mercy, not merely by his prayers, but in everything he does. For he is a vessel of grace. We cannot heal all the world’s problems, but we begin with our own heart if our help is to amount to anything.

— Fr. Matthew Kelty

I have not gotten this all figured out, but I know that I know I have much to learn...

Deb

peeling off a layer of tape...

This is the letter I wrote to the students who are meeting with Pat Robertson about the issue of commencement speaker selection...

Thanks for offering to field student thoughts on this issue.

I am not due to graduate for, oh, four years? But basically, I had already decided that I will just have my diploma mailed to me. A university's commencement is not a political platform for the media. It is (traditionally) intended to encourage and challenge the graduates to go and do what they are trained to do. (And in the case of a Christian university, to do GOD'S work!)

I think that there are MANY inspiring speakers who are not political candidates, who are Christians who make a difference and who are not asked to speak at secular universities because they ARE Christians! I think of "acceptable" Christian writers like Max Lucado, or Andy Stanley, or perhaps "less acceptable" ones like Lauren Winner or Anne Lamott. (Yes, the last two would put some male graduates back on their heels -- but they speak for the generation of leaders in America who are up and coming.) I think of men and women who have returned from Iraq. I think of teachers who make a difference dealing with truants in Newport News, or a social worker in DC who helps teens stay in school, or a public defender who offers the best defense that money can't buy (literally). A Christian who is NOT a big name in the marketplace.

I'm just one voice. I recognize that. But I will not be a political pawn for a candidate I do not support. My diploma is not up for a vote, nor is it fodder for the 700 Club or the Nightly News.

Thanks for being willing to listen...

God bless you and I will be praying for your meeting!

In Christ alone-
Deb

To paraphrase Scripture, don't muzzle the student while she's writing... (grin)

Now I might get kicked out of school for this... but that's where I stand...

Deb

So, like, where do you shop?

There is a trend I really really dislike among some teen girls, and it is probably one that many parents dislike. I keep reinforcing my distaste for it with my daughters. (And so far... so good... They hear me and agree!)

It is this idea that it is more important to be "cool" or "phat" which is judged by the way you dress, the amount of make-up you wear, how many boyfriends you have had, what you do with your hair, what kind of jewelry you wear, etc...

Have we really made so little of a change in a generation? It frustrates me to hear that my wonderful daughters are going through the same pysche junk that I did. I have too many memories of Patti and Cheryl and good-old-what's-her-name who tormented me with their rude and truly nasty remarks when I was in high school. (The good news? They probably have cellulite now too! Time IS a great equalizer!)

I hurt for the adolescent girlie "nasties" that every female seems to have to experience... and yes, the Mama Bear in me wanted to get on the phone and give their parents a piece of my mind... but since I have so little to spare, I prayed instead. And hugged my girls. And told them I loved them.

However, this afternoon, as I read the paper in my after-service wind-down, I had to do a WHOOP and a happy dance over this op-ed piece!!!! It makes a Mama Bear really happy!

Hey Jessica? You rock!

SO, like, where do you shop?

Um... yeah. WhatEVER!

Deb


Young, Female and Taking a Stand Against Provocative Fashion

Washington Post, Sunday, March 25, 2007; Page B08

"Why am I not accepted by you?" I recall asking the beautiful, blonde future cheerleader as we walked toward our rural-suburban sixth-grade classroom in 1997.

"You don't wear the right clothes, hang out with the right people, wear makeup or have a boyfriend," I remember her responding thoughtfully.

At that moment, I faced a dilemma that would affect the rest of my life: Would I choose to abandon my friends and clothing and acquire a boyfriend and makeup skills to become popular, or would I stay on the course I was on?

My feminine heart longed to be accepted, to be considered pretty and fashionable. But what was I willing to sacrifice to obtain it? Even at 12, I sensed that if I took the advice implied by my classmate's answer I would be allowing my identity to be dictated by others from then on. Everything within me rebelled at saying goodbye to who I was. So I made my choice: I wouldn't pursue the criteria that would open the doors of popularity.

For the next seven years, until I graduated from high school, I watched as friends and classmates grew more obsessed with becoming what in the 1990s was called the "It" girl. We all knew -- from magazines, TV and societal mores -- that to be accepted one had to be hot. This meant wearing the latest fashions, designed for model-thin people and showcasing as many curves as possible. It meant going to parties where one rebelled, along with everyone else, against adult restrictions and where one hoped to be recognized by the girls as having "it" together and by the guys as being sexy. To attain this status, girls did the usual: starved themselves, dressed "fashionably" and gossiped incessantly to establish themselves and, with calculated innocence, to rip other girls to shreds.

I was reminded of all of this by an article in The Post's Health section last month, "Goodbye to Girlhood; As Pop Culture Targets Ever Younger Girls, Psychologists Worry About a Premature Focus on Sex and Appearance."

It is incredibly difficult for any girl or young woman to withstand the continual onslaught. I know it was for me. In the end, I was able not only to survive but to thrive in this environment because of my parents, my faith and my life experiences.

My parents' love and support were unfailing. They were there when I came home in tears because the pressures of being a teenage girl were too much; they were there when I needed to share news of something wonderful.

My faith enabled me to ground my self-worth in who I was as a person, not in what I could do or become.

And I was fortunate to learn from several guys' own lips that they valued modesty in women and admired those who had interior as well as exterior beauty. It took years, but eventually I internalized the reality that women's clothes send a message to the world and that if we want to be treated as people and not as objects, our clothes and body language must project true beauty -- dignity and quiet confidence accented, of course, by the latest clothing and accessories.

Now, as a twentysomething grad student at the John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family at Catholic University, I still grapple with the issues raised by that childhood conversation, albeit with a more academic approach. Such studies have allowed me to realize how similar my experiences have been to those of many other women.

As a result, I have gotten involved with Pure Fashion DC, a nonprofit model-training program that seeks to inspire high-school-age girls to be role models as well as fashion models. We regularly meet with our 46 models, who hail from all over the Washington area, to discuss inner beauty (on, say, getaway weekend) and outer beauty (on salon day). Our time together will culminate in a three-hour fashion show April 29 at the Grand Hyatt Hotel in downtown Washington, where our models will showcase this year's fashions with grace and modesty.

Whether it's over coffee, at a Pure Fashion DC event, in a conference room or at a pajama party, I share my experiences with young women and girls to encourage them to send a message of true beauty with their bodies and their clothing.

-- Jessica A. Dolezal

Silver Spring

The writer volunteers with Pure Fashion DC, a model-training program that stresses modesty.

Quote without comment...

Received a month ago and has been on my mind. However, it has NOT been in the public forum... SOooo... I post it here without comment...
Oh yes, I have an opinion...

Deb

Dear Regent Family:

It is the custom of most major universities to invite as their commencement speakers people of note in government, business, the arts, philanthropy, etc. By having prominent speakers at graduation, those in attendance have a chance to hear first-hand thinking from prominent individuals and, at the same time, media attention is directed to the institution as the remarks of the speaker are quoted widely. I remember a few years ago attending the graduation at Oral Roberts University where Bob Hope, a noted comedian, was the featured speaker. Last Spring, Liberty University asked John McCain, a presidential candidate, to be its graduation speaker.

This Spring, Regent University is pleased to be able to hear from two leading candidates for President of the United States, Rudy Giuliani and former Governor Mitt Romney. Gov. Romney is a distinguished businessman who founded Bain Capital, has been involved in multi-billion dollar mergers and acquisitions, and headed the Winter Olympics. Former Mayor Giuliani is distinguished by his leadership in New York City and his bravery during the aftermath of September 11, 2001.

Mayor Giuliani will speak on leadership and Gov. Romney will lay out his views on the future course of the political life of this nation.

Mayor Giuliani is not expected to speak about his personal life or the fact that he is a Roman Catholic. Gov. Romney is running for the post of Chief Executive Officer, not Chief Theologian, and is not expected to mention the fact that he is a Mormon or to discuss his Mormon beliefs.

As Regent University becomes more and more the center of international Christian learning, it should be appropriate that our faculty and student body are conversant with the major themes of public policy discourse in this nation and are, in turn, able to confront them intelligently.

I hope this answers some of the questions that have been raised about the choice of speakers at our school.

Pat Robertson

Chancellor/President

Regent University

Quoting without comment

Most pastors I know do not have satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives. At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors’ wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either. (Mark Driscoll)

See the whole post here...

Since I'm not (yet) a pastor, nor am I a pastor's wife, I'll not comment. Ooohhh, I'd like to. But I'll practice biting my tongue and go reread James... HOWEVER -- you, my friend, visiting this blog have a choice to comment with a personal (but Christ-filled) thought, so feel free...

Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God's righteousness doesn't grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life. [James 1:19-21, The Message]

From our home to yours...
Deb

Election Results

Yeah. That about says it all.

From our home to yours...
Deb

A Friday Five: the Tooth and nothing but the Tooth

Songbird from RevGalBlogPals posted:
"We are in the throes of what will (hopefully) be the final set of braces in this family, and so my mind is on the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

Please share your thoughts on the following:"

1) The Tooth Fairy Fun, relatively harmless, but answer honestly once they ask.

2) Flossing Electric all the way, baby. Especially because I still have my wisdom teeth.

3) Toothpaste Brands Crest. Mint or Vanilla. Always.

4) Orthodontia for Adults Great if you (a) have the money (b) like to go and have people stick their fingers in your mouth and (c) really and truly would feel better about yourself it you did

5) Whitening products White is fine. Bright almost blue is not. And be careful you don't damage your enamel.

Personally - More trips VOLUNTARILY to the dentist chair? for me -- it's a no-brainer. No thanks....

(no dentist's feelings were intentionally hurt by this message)

From our home to yours -
Deb

Lessons from 1000 Women

He gets it. Read Pradeep's article...

Cool stuff!

From our bejeweled home to yours...
Deb

Memorizing Colossians 3

The challenge last week from my Spiritual Formation class was to pick a passage and begin memorizing it. NOT picking a bunch of great verses in a little packet (although that does have its place in my life!) but a whole section of the Word. The choices included Romans 5, 7 or 8 or Colossians 3. Who are you kidding? Romans vs. Colossians? No contest. I'm memorizing Colossians 3!

It's been refreshing to sit and steep myself in one chapter. Not for the purposes of making observations and crafting questions to interpret, but just to read it and learn it in its entirety. I'm making slow progress in actual memorization, but I'm trying to take it carefully and slowly. I want this in long-term storage, not a quick fix.

As I read over the passage, I keep getting drawn to the second paragraph (vv. 5-11). As a woman, I love to jump to the end of the paragraph because of the declaration of unity and inclusivity I read there. But I have to go back and read carefully again and again, because of the things that are specifically NOT included in that Spirit of unity and inclusiveness. Things like sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed are listed in verse 6. And verse 8 tells me to get rid of anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language. How often do I pass over the "don'ts" because I am so happy with the "do's"? How can I justify not saying something to a fellow believer who insists on living in adultery? Or who won't clean up their dress, their job ethics or their speech? How can I excuse myself for my "little indiscretions" when God calls them practices of the "old self?"

No, I remain silent because I am afraid. I want to be seen as having put on that "new self," clothed in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. I want to speak the Word of Christ that teaches and admonishes. I want to put on LOVE - and exude it through my words and my actions. I do not want to join the ranks of the finger-pointing and self-righteous on the airwaves, pounding pulpits, or in blogs everywhere. (Geesh. They get enough press.) Besides, I mess up plenty and am not perfect. If you were to go find everyone in my past, they would have plenty of stories. I am not proud of who I was, but then again, I don't pretend to be someone I am not!

However, of late it seems to me that I have too much ignored the gentle, challenging words of the Apostle Paul. Whether it is PC or not, and with apologies to my fellow sisters and brothers who are more liberal in their theology, I have to say it: sexual activity outside of God's intended boundary of marriage is sin. It's called adultery. I didn't make it up. I didn't write the Law. In fairness to the other Commandments, it isn't any worse to disobey this one than it is to disobey the other Nine! It's not like you're a SUPER SINNER and need more forgiveness than if your favorite disobedience is adultery, instead of one of the other "shalt not's."

No... God calls all of us to put to death all those things of our "earthly nature." Those are all suuposed to be in the "used to do" category. Does it mean that we won't sin again? That we'll never struggle with our favorite sin/s? On the other hand, does it mean we have an excuse? ("It's just my earthly nature, Lord... You understand, don't You?")

It isn't easy. It's not a canned thing, with robotic brain cells magically following into the Land of Perfect Obedience. (As if...) But we do have a Savior who understands.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)

Lord, I look to You... I cling to You. I believe that because of Your life intersecting in mine, I can change. I will stumble again. But I am changing...little by little by little... Thank You for the many times You forgive, and the unending ways Your mercy transforms my life... Amen.

The words of Kathryn Scott express it so well...

Hungry, I come to you, for I know you satisfy.
I am empty, but I know Your love does not run dry.
And so I wait for You, So I wait for You.

I’m falling on my knees, offering all of me.
Jesus, you’re all this heart is living for.

Broken, I run to You, for Your arms are open wide.
I am weary, but I know Your touch restores my life.
And so I wait for You, so I wait for You... I wait for You...

© 1999 Vineyard Songs (Administered by Mercy / Vineyard Publishing).

From our home to yours,
Deb

Food For Thought...

Recently posted in Ekklesia

"Evangelicalism has become a synonym, in popular understanding, for moralising bigotry, fundamentalism and reactivity," according to the Revd Joel Edwards, general director of the Evangelical Alliance.

He made the comments in a hard-hitting piece for the Alliance's Idea magazine, where he appealed for internal evangelical unity and urged a rethinking of how evangelicalism presents itself to the wider world.

He is damning about how evangelicals are perceived generally, saying, "We come across as judgmental and obnoxious. There are plenty of caricatures and misrepresentations out there, but too often we perpetuate them by our actions."

...I believe that Rev. Edwards has been reading the caricatures of Christians in my local paper...

Just something I'm chewing on...

From your home to yours,
Deb

Thought-provoking!

I have to say that I appreciate the candor (and the pain) of the folks who wrote of their experiences in this blog. It's the stories of eight 20-somethings who decided to leave the Church. They were all full or part-time church workers.

I identify with them. And it has been very thought-provoking. There's a couple of reasons...

For one, I was a 30-something when I was bruised and hurt by a church that was pushing the programming button, and I was not hip enough (in their estimation) to stay with the program. There's more to it than that, and I am NOT saying that it was all "their" fault (or all "mine"), but let's just say that it only took me, oh, five or six years to believe again that I had something to offer God's people.

Another reason I'm really struck by their stories is that Ken and I will be leading a singles small group starting next month. Many of these folks have probably had all of the "church junk" they can stand. I don't want to be part of the reason someone leaves a fellowship! I want to hear THEIR hearts and see THEIR point of view.

The other thing that's really making me stop and ponder is that, yeah, I'm looking to go back into full-time ministry during or at the end of my classes... When I read something like this I think either, "well, DUH. Working with people is sometimes really disturbing..." or I think "it's not all about ME, now is it???" And yet -- if I am going to be working in an arena that wants to help grow 20-something Christians as the future leaders of GOD'S CHURCH (not any particular brand - GOD'S...) I need to hear their voices and think about their perspective.

Besides, it won't be THAT long until our teens will be 20-somethings and I sure want to see THEM staying close to God's heart (and not my definition of what that means...)

From our home to yours...

Deb

Forgot to add this link!

Visit RELEVANT Magazine!

Quite an amazing site. If you wonder why it ain't your mama's "Old Rugged Cross" any more, then this will help explain why... And if you want to figure out how to keep the next generation active and growing in the local church, you'll have plenty of food for thought!

I've added it to my sidebar links (an oversight from my last re-edit!)

from our home to yours...

Deb