A Church of Her Own

Over at RevGals this week there was a book discussion on Sarah Sentilles "A Church of Her Own." Not surprisingly, there were some pretty passionate responses. I understand where this emotion and frustration comes from, but I found Sentilles' work a bit over-the-top.

I am definitely among those who have seen the prejudice against women as leaders and pastors in larger evangelical churches. I'm in the nondenominational side of church life, more towards the conservative side (though I am proud to wear the label "progressive"!!) What I have seen is that in many of these churches, that the men are in positions which are "pastoral" and the women are in positions which are "directors" or "administrators" -- even though they are teaching, leading and caring for teams of volunteers, children, etc. Makes. me. nuts.

I am working very hard with my spiritual director to name prejudice for what it is, and then to proclaim God's forgiveness for my attitudes, and to extend God's forgiveness towards others. I guess I would like to see a more reconciling spirit in this book. Lord willing, perhaps my journey in this arena will be in a book which is written in that Spirit. It seems unnecessary to paint all churches and all male clergy with the same brush. It smacks of reverse discrimination.

On the positive side, here is something that I do agree with in her book: from Chapter Six on Language, page 129

"Seeing a woman in the pulpit not only brings us up against our implicit or explicit assumptions about the categories "minister" and "woman," it also challenges how we think about God."

further down...

"Most liturgical language refers to God as male - God is called 'He," "lord," "Father," "King" - and prayers in many churches use the pronoun "he" or the words "man" or mankind" to refer to human beings. When pressed proponents of this kind of male-only, exclusive language insist that "men" is a generic, gender-neutral term. ...Insisting that "men" means everyone is a kind of double-talk: "Men" means all of us, but only men can get ordained."

~ o ~

These quotes are just the tip of the iceberg. There is a problem with gender-inclusive language in some corners simply because God was always imaged as male to the patriarchal society. So what was historical context must continue as present-day context? I don't think so! That is simply bad hermeneutics! Sentilles does, to her credit, discuss some of the alternative namings of God but admits that liturgically that pesky ol' pronoun problem keeps creeping up.

One of the issues we wrestled with in Systematic Theology class was the issue of using the roles of God as names limits the infinity of God (God is not just Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer but is also Judge, Renewer, Savior, etc etc). We get into ontological problems in our desire to escape the limits of the English language.

As Sentilles points out, referring to God in male-only language has stifled the perceptions of us all in accepting that a woman can speak to/for God. In discussing this with my college student and her peers, this has become a bigger issue that I think we understand. They are not willing to tolerate invisibility or bias any more... I do pray that her generation will not be wrestling with the battles of insecurity and poor exegesis!

I'm choosing to stand firm, think positively for my daughters' generation, and to model acceptance and grace.

Deb

It is hard to believe that this happened in 2009...

A woman who is being installed as the pastor of a local church received a smack-down letter from another pastor in her town. (She is ELCA, he is Baptist.) The outright prejudice and gall of the other pastor is, well, appalling.

And I will just let you read it... here.

If you are so inclined, please leave her a love note. And pray that we will all live out Christ's command...

"A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
John 13:34-35

Thanks, Dr. Kaiser!

I think Dr. Kaiser is amazing.

That's all..

Deb

Worthwhile sites to visit

Stumbled onto some places of encouragement and wanted to pass them along...

Eugene Cho on Rob Bell

And an Equality Blog by Deanna and Tara

And finally...

Mike Morrell on Why not women?


STUMBLING ON...
Deb

Quote of the night...

So help me, I did not plan on tuning in to the Republican Convention. I was actually trying to get the latest weather reports on hurricane season... but I heard Rudy Giuliani say this:

She’s already one of the most successful governors in America - and the most popular. And she already has more executive experience than the entire Democratic ticket combined.

How dare they question whether Palin will have enough time to spend with her children while vice president? When do they ever ask a man that question?”

Let me be clear that I have not decided on who gets my vote in November... And I'm not so big on Giuliani, either.

But I LOVED that quote!!! It could be said for any woman in any profession... especially ministry!

Ever the rabble rouser...
Deb

continuing the journey...

It's hard to believe. It's happening on Saturday. Along with my co-worker, Glenn, I'm getting ordained by my church.

Part of me says, "it's ONLY a piece of paper."
Part of me says, "it's a BIG HONKIN' DEAL!"
And a good part of me is terrified.

The prayers will be said, the laying on of hands will take place... People will say (hopefully) encouraging things. My husband and kids, my mom and at least one of my sibs will be there. People who have loved and encouraged and walked this road with me will be there. Church family and staff will be there.

In the end. It's still me. I haven't changed. And yet, I have. The journey continues. I am standing on the edge of something huge and beyond my comprehension...

If you had told me five years ago that I would be looking to this day... I would have laughed. Hard. I would have been wondering if it could happen... if this dream, so long ago crushed and put down because it "wasn't biblical for women to be ordained"... if I could dare to see it come to pass. I can hardly believe it's almost here.

And yet, here I am.

Grateful. Delighted. And a little stunned...

Prayers appreciated. (And yes - I will post pictures...)

Deb

Light reading

I'm reading for my Fem. Theology class:

• Jesus and the Father (Kevin Giles)
• God For Us (LaCugna)
• In Memory of Her (Schussler Fiorenza)
• Feminist Theology (edited by Ann Loades)
• Freeing Theology (LaCugna)
• Women Caught in the Conflict (Groothius)

And, just for fun, I bought myself an early birthday present:
A Church of Her Own by Sarah Sentilles

When one of my co-workers asked me what my courses were this summer, I told him, "Mentoring for Women and Feminist Theology."

He said, "Oh really? Well I only have chauvinist theology books."

I just looked at him and said, "Really? Gee, I think I have some of those too."

And yes. I thought it was funny. But he didn't.
Oh well. Life goes on. And so does my journey...

Deb
where it is still stinking hot. 93 degrees at 7 p.m.! P.U.

Spent for Jesus

Two services....
sermon delivered...

It's done. I'm spent. Not sure how it went but the word was "good job" from God so... all the rest I take as gravy.

I have great kids. A great husband... what a blessing.

And now??? It's naptime!

Love,
Deb

Sandblasting

Let's call it "personality sandblasting."

There's not much else I can say to describe it. Edges of my life, my heart, my way of "being" have been going through some intensive purification recently.

I won't deny that I need the changes that are being scraped off of my personality... (would that they were pounds off my hips, but oh well...)

It is just simply hard.

More times in the last few months that I would like to admit, I have had one of these brutal heart-to-heart chats with God. I had said or done something that was... ahem... just a LITTLE rude or sarcastic, or even crass. And almost immediately a "poke" from God let me know I needed to either apologize, or swallow my pride and accept the criticism without retort, or be humbled.

It's like these little personality quirks are being sandblasted away. Some of the blasts follow quickly, right on the heels of the last one, and kinda deal with the same issues, an issue or an action that God simply does not like. The sandblasting hurts. Things are a little raw.

God! Please! Can we deal with another area of my life???

:I thought you'd never ask...:

YEEEEEEEEEE OWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!

Another thought, habit or pattern that needs changing gets tackled.

And you know what the worst part of all this really is? I am not really suffering. I am paying the consequences for my stupidity, my sin. But I am not dealing with cancer. Or a huge issue at home. Or a hurricane. Or a million other things in life that are "real" problems. I don't even want to call it "suffering" because it just does not compare! Not at all!

This sandblasting is because I gave God permission to get me ready for whatever was ahead. I said, "I don't want to fight You any more. I want to be the kind of pastor you want me to be."

:I thought you'd never ask! Here! read this!!:

You've never been good listeners to me.
You have a history of ignoring me,
A sorry track record of fickle attachments—
rebels from the womb.
But out of the sheer goodness of my heart,
because of who I am,
I keep a tight rein on my anger and hold my temper.
I don't wash my hands of you.
Do you see what I've done?
I've refined you, but not without fire.
I've tested you like silver in the furnace of affliction.
Out of myself, simply because of who I am, I do what I do.
I have my reputation to keep up.
I'm not playing second fiddle to either gods or people.
Isaiah 48:6-11 (The Message)

I know that this is to remake me and refine me. I know that this is stuff I should grapple with now. Every RevGal's blog I read shows me that I can learn how to battle this now... or keep stumbling and bumbling through it later... and hurt God's sheep in the process.

I believe the pattern it will create in me will be something beautiful and a little more like Jesus every day. And that's what I'm shooting for...

One blast at a time... ow.

Deb

Surf's UP!

A fresco painting of Phoebe, a leader commended by Paul (Romans 16)
from Damien Casey's research into Women Celebrants in the Early Church

It was a circuitous route which led me to this (which I think started at MomPriest's blog and by sidebar links through many other blogs...)

It's an address by NT Wright on Women's Service in the Church: The Biblical Basis. You'll find it HERE...

At the very least, it's good stuff. :)

Deb

Great quote!

"This is beautiful work.. simple, genuine, redemptive. It shouldn't seem radical, but it is. It shouldn't even be necessary to say "men and women are equal" -- but it is. Hopefully in another ten years, the saints of CBE will end gender inequality and put themselves out of jobs. Until then, may we all live in discomfort amid a booming choir of white men, while the church is pregnant with women who are ready to lead and write and preach but still get funny looks or cold shoulders."

Shane Claiborne

sermon writing time...

I'm working on my next sermon... (I know you weekly preachers probably are chuckling at my "occasional" sermon writing. I'm still a student, ya dig?)

ANYWAY -- the only way I make progress is teasing out where God is leading is by listening. And singing. SO... here's the words to one that is kinda cranking on the back burner...

Search my heart, search my mind, search my soul
Make me clean, make me new, make me whole

All of my plans, all of my dreams, I lay them down before Your feet
All of my time, all that was mine, I now submit to Your design
'Cause you are the one only one that give it all away for me
that give it all away for me

You are my strength, You are my God, you are my King
You make me laugh, You make me dance, You make me sing

All of my plans, all of my dreams, I lay them down before Your feet
All of my time, all that was mine, I now submit to Your design
'Cause you are the one only one that dared to give it all away for me
that give it all away for me (give it all away..)

Everything inside, everything outside, I give it all away
You never change, but You rearrange my heart more everyday

All of my plans, all of my dreams, I lay them down before Your feet
All of my time, all that was mine, I now submit to Your design

All of my plans, all of my dreams, I lay them down before Your feet
All of my time, all that was mine, I now submit to Your design
'Cause You are the one who can make my life complete
You are the one who can give light to my feet
You are the one, Only one who that give it all away for me
that dared to give it all away for me...
that dared to give it all away
that dared to give it all away for me...
that dared to give it all away for me...

Search my heart, search my mind, search my soul ....


Aaron Shust - "Give it all away"

Yes. ALL of them. At Your Feet... I submit them to Your design.

Deb

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Now playing: Aaron Shust - Give It All Away
via FoxyTunes

First Dunk

I had another pastor-in-training milestone... I was blessed to baptize Sarah yesterday, a woman in our college and career ministry. I didn't hit her head on the side of the hot tub (the pool was under 70 degrees, so we opted for the hot tub!) And... she came back up, breathing.

One of the pastoral staff who were there (they were ALL there) said that for a first baptism, it was tricky. Yeah. Negotiating the small space and shallow water was a bit of a challenge. And it could have been nerve-wracking since there were lots of other folks there, just to celebrate with her. I didn't want to make a pastoral "bloopers" reel. Darin did the intro and charge. And then it was time to get wet!! But you know? I wasn't nervous. I had the privilege of being His hands. He had already done His work in Sarah's heart... I just helped her seal it. And the rest was not "my job" at all... (Funny how that works.)

There's many pastor "firsts" I guess. I didn't realize how many. First time you preach. First time you baptize, marry and bury. First time you counsel someone. First time you lead communion. First time you hear your name and "pastor" from someone in the same breath... and I hadn't stopped to ponder all that before.

So many firsts -- and if they all flow as naturally as this one... Wow... It's something to watch GOD work... that's all...

Deb

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Now playing: Phil Keaggy - Waterfall
via FoxyTunes

Take a survey???

Hey friends,

At the The Scroll the blog for Christians for Biblical Equality, there is a request for help on a survey:

CBE was recently contacted by a doctor of ministry student named Barb from Langley, BC, conducting a survey among Christians who have recovered from experiences of emotional and spiritual distress under authoritarian and controlling church leaders. The results of her survey will provide her with a critical piece of research and will help her on her way to the completion of her dissertation.

There's more from this blog - check it out and see if you are someone who would like to take part.

Deb

Thorny issues

This "loving one another" stuff is hard. And yet it is completely easy.

It involves remembering...
Remembering grace being extended to me...
Remembering that I have made so many mistakes in my past, but I finally can forgive myself for them and learn from them...
Remembering that there were no requirements or preconditions for me to be loved by Jesus, just that I am.

The thorny issues I have been watching others work through right now are difficult. They are complex. And real pain and real people are involved. It's messy. I want to solve the problems, offer solutions and be a parent, not a friend; a surgeon, not a pastor. Instead I am called to listen, to pray, to encourage. And to keep my hands off the situation and God's Hands on it...

I'm choosing to believe in the power of God to bring about change.
I'm choosing to love.

God loves you and has chosen you as His own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together. Each one of you is part of the body of Christ, and you were chosen to live together in peace. So let the peace that comes from Christ control your thoughts. And be grateful. [Colossians 3:12-15]

Yes, there are some thorny issues in the path right now. But by showing love, and remembering His grace and mercy... the way is being smoothed for growth and healing.

And I am watching as these beautiful roses bloom above their thorns...

Deb

Questions, questions...

Margaret Feinberg has been blogging on issues near and dear to my heart... and they were re-posted over at Emerging Women.

As a woman in seminary and fully engaged in pursuing God's call to vocational ministry, I decided to run with the conversation...

From Margaret...

Old school: Women wrestling with the issue of whether they should be in ministy.

New school: Women are in ministry and wondering how to do it best.

When I google "Women in ministry" 97% of the articles (yes, that's super scientific :) are on whether or not women should be in ministry. But when I talk to women who are in ministry, that's not what they're asking about. They want to know:

Now - her questions...

-I'm a single woman in ministry--how do I draw boundaries so my work doesn't become my life?
Get a life... a hobby. Seriously! What is it that you like to do besides "ministry"?? -- go and do that. It is especially good if you find something that lets you be with real people... people outside of your church. Rock climbing. Pot throwing. Ballroom dancing. Fencing. Painting. Quilting. Javelin-throwing. It should be something that energizes you, and is a frequent place to "have" to be.

-I'm one of the few women on staff and sometimes it seems the males don't know how to respond to me. They'll go to lunch but I'm not invited. At times, I feel left out for being a woman, how do I handle it?
Hmmmm... well. Is it a working lunch? Are they doing planning sessions that you need to be in on? Or, are they just going to let loose some testosterone? If it is the latter, smile and make your own plans. If it is the former, talk to your boss and gently tell him that when they "talk shop" that is part of your work and don't include you, it feels like you are not respected for your role in the church's mission. I faced this at "Church of the Holy and Totally Coolness" when I was on staff there. In my case, my boss told me I was "over-reacting" and then later would wonder why I didn't know that I was tasked with this assignment or that. Uh. Yeah. They "decided" it at their dude meetings. Go figure. I am not faced with that at the church where I am interning currently, and I am grateful!

-Where can I connect with other women who are assuming similar roles in their churches?
Professional groups like Christians for Biblical Equality... their seminars, conferences and networking groups are a great source of encouragement to me. They are not fashion consultants (i.e. "should I wear heels or flats with my ecclesiastical robes?" puhleez) but deal with ministry and theological questions with research, dialogue and determination.

-Where do I find a Godly woman who can mentor me, encourage me and hold me accountable?
Start with your seminary or college... ask a woman professor you admire for a recommendation. Make sure she knows you would like a woman working in vocational ministry... not a pastor's wife. (I'm not dissing pastor's wives here so don't throw tomatoes... because I do know some amazing "Mrs. Rev's." It is just a different role in the church!) If you are in the Mid-Atlantic region, get in touch with me... and I will pass along any names I have gathered. :)

-Why does some of the stiffest opposition for doing what I do (whether it's leading small groups, the worship team et) come from other women rather than men?
Because we can be such cats? Estrogen wars? Because they have been told for a long time that women didn't "do" x or y? I am not sure. But I do know that I've experienced it as well. I rely on friends who are truly there for me, and my mentors to give me honest and clear feedback. I also take criticisms I get to people I trust and say, "I am getting some pushback from ________ on this issue. Can we talk about it?"

-Though the senior pastor and board supports me with this leadership role, there are some on staff who aren't as supportive. They won't come out and say it--but it shows up in their comments and attitudes. How can I win their hearts and represent Jesus well in the doors as I respond to the calling on my life?
If the senior pastor is truly your advocate and your boss, then this again is something I would take to him. You don't have to mention names. He probably already knows. But, when you combine it with "the lunch" issue, it is hard to know what is going on under the surface. You probably already know to be professional, handle your part of the teamwork, etc. Some people are insecure -- male or female -- and will act out accordingly.

And, to be brutally honest? This kind of "I-don't-know-if-people-with-ovaries-should-be-pastors-attitude" is among the reasons why my husband and I left "The Church of We are Always Right." We are raising two daughters to be godly women, you see, and it was pretty clear what kind of ministry and support the three of us would get. (Um. That would be "none.") I hope you don't have to go there because it sounds like you love what you are doing... when you can do it.

So what do you think are some of the "real issues" of women in ministry?
- Like our male counterparts, keeping a balance between our personal lives and our professional lives.
- Getting caught up in "the work week" vs. God's work.
- Not feeding our Soul's relationship -- stopping for refreshment and prayer with our Abba, resting at the feet of Jesus, being renewed by the Holy Spirit. Keep your spiritual tank full!
- Not clarifying what is a REQUIRED church event vs. what is an OPTIONAL event; not being clear on what your work week should include. No, you may not have kids with sports commitments or birthday parties... but you still should be able to have a 'life' -- AND a day off.
- Guilt, discouragement, worry, exhaustion...
- Forgetting that we don't have to please everyone, only God. People are going to disagree, disaprove, and try to disenchant you. That's a gender-free reality.
- Being blamed for all that is wrong with the church... (if you don't believe me, visit here and here. (That's just for starters. If you need to get really depressed, just Google "women preachers" --- or better yet, DON'T!)
- Finding encouragement from folks like Singing Owl, Rev. Abi, Reverend Mommy and other RevGals who are blogging down the path beside and ahead of me... Just don't go it alone!

A final thought...
God does not call all women to vocational ministry. (He does not call all men either!) Since you are set apart for this, there is going to be a sense of 'aloneness' in the Call -- realizing it is for you and YOU alone. No one else has been tasked to do what God is asking you to do. But you showed up to do it!

Sara Groves wrote a song called "Just Showed Up (For My Own Life)" which I commend to you...

I'm going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that's honest
and real until I'm truly amazed
I'm going to feel all my emotions
I'm going to look you in the eyes
I'm going to listen and hear until it's finally clear
and it changes our lives

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Bloom where you are planted...
Watch God do the work!

Pressing on...

Deb