Friday Five: Seasons Change

ReverendMother from RevGalBlogPals writes...

It's Labor Day weekend here in the United States, also known as Summer's Last Hurrah. So let's say goodbye to summer and hello to the autumn.

1. Share a highlight from this summer. (If you please, don't just say "our vacation to the Canadian Rockies." Give us a little detail or image. Help us live vicariously through you!)
Break out the bathing suits and the grapes, and join me in the jacuzzi as we feast our eyes on the German Alps... (breathe in... breathe out...)

Sing, O heavens, for the LORD has done it; shout, O depths of the earth; break forth into singing, O mountains, forest, and every tree in it! For the LORD has redeemed Jacob, and will be glorified in Israel. [Isaiah 44:23]

2. Are you glad to see this summer end? Why or why not?

Yes. And no. Yes... because I am excited about my internship and being that much closer to being DONE in May 2009! No... because just when the weather is getting NICE, I am stuck inside studying... and writing... and reading...

3. Name one or two things you're looking forward to this fall.
Ohio State Football. Co-leading a mission trip to Poitiers, France.

4. Do you have any special preparations or activities to mark the transition from one season to another? (Cleaning of house, putting away summer clothes, one last trip to the beach)
Yes... For the last six years, I have taken our daughters down to the beach in South Carolina for a last, relaxing week before the summer crazies start up. It helps mark an 'end' to the summer, and gives us time to refresh the soul a little. Eventually, we will put away the tank tops and shorts and go find sweaters. But when it's 90 degrees for the first few weeks of school, the wardrobe swap isn't necessary! Yet.

5. I'll know that fall is really here when...
...Christmas commercials start up in October!
...our gutters send a river through our basement.
...I stop wheezing and start sneezing.
...Ohio State football starts!!! (O-H!)

Deb

Questions, questions...

Margaret Feinberg has been blogging on issues near and dear to my heart... and they were re-posted over at Emerging Women.

As a woman in seminary and fully engaged in pursuing God's call to vocational ministry, I decided to run with the conversation...

From Margaret...

Old school: Women wrestling with the issue of whether they should be in ministy.

New school: Women are in ministry and wondering how to do it best.

When I google "Women in ministry" 97% of the articles (yes, that's super scientific :) are on whether or not women should be in ministry. But when I talk to women who are in ministry, that's not what they're asking about. They want to know:

Now - her questions...

-I'm a single woman in ministry--how do I draw boundaries so my work doesn't become my life?
Get a life... a hobby. Seriously! What is it that you like to do besides "ministry"?? -- go and do that. It is especially good if you find something that lets you be with real people... people outside of your church. Rock climbing. Pot throwing. Ballroom dancing. Fencing. Painting. Quilting. Javelin-throwing. It should be something that energizes you, and is a frequent place to "have" to be.

-I'm one of the few women on staff and sometimes it seems the males don't know how to respond to me. They'll go to lunch but I'm not invited. At times, I feel left out for being a woman, how do I handle it?
Hmmmm... well. Is it a working lunch? Are they doing planning sessions that you need to be in on? Or, are they just going to let loose some testosterone? If it is the latter, smile and make your own plans. If it is the former, talk to your boss and gently tell him that when they "talk shop" that is part of your work and don't include you, it feels like you are not respected for your role in the church's mission. I faced this at "Church of the Holy and Totally Coolness" when I was on staff there. In my case, my boss told me I was "over-reacting" and then later would wonder why I didn't know that I was tasked with this assignment or that. Uh. Yeah. They "decided" it at their dude meetings. Go figure. I am not faced with that at the church where I am interning currently, and I am grateful!

-Where can I connect with other women who are assuming similar roles in their churches?
Professional groups like Christians for Biblical Equality... their seminars, conferences and networking groups are a great source of encouragement to me. They are not fashion consultants (i.e. "should I wear heels or flats with my ecclesiastical robes?" puhleez) but deal with ministry and theological questions with research, dialogue and determination.

-Where do I find a Godly woman who can mentor me, encourage me and hold me accountable?
Start with your seminary or college... ask a woman professor you admire for a recommendation. Make sure she knows you would like a woman working in vocational ministry... not a pastor's wife. (I'm not dissing pastor's wives here so don't throw tomatoes... because I do know some amazing "Mrs. Rev's." It is just a different role in the church!) If you are in the Mid-Atlantic region, get in touch with me... and I will pass along any names I have gathered. :)

-Why does some of the stiffest opposition for doing what I do (whether it's leading small groups, the worship team et) come from other women rather than men?
Because we can be such cats? Estrogen wars? Because they have been told for a long time that women didn't "do" x or y? I am not sure. But I do know that I've experienced it as well. I rely on friends who are truly there for me, and my mentors to give me honest and clear feedback. I also take criticisms I get to people I trust and say, "I am getting some pushback from ________ on this issue. Can we talk about it?"

-Though the senior pastor and board supports me with this leadership role, there are some on staff who aren't as supportive. They won't come out and say it--but it shows up in their comments and attitudes. How can I win their hearts and represent Jesus well in the doors as I respond to the calling on my life?
If the senior pastor is truly your advocate and your boss, then this again is something I would take to him. You don't have to mention names. He probably already knows. But, when you combine it with "the lunch" issue, it is hard to know what is going on under the surface. You probably already know to be professional, handle your part of the teamwork, etc. Some people are insecure -- male or female -- and will act out accordingly.

And, to be brutally honest? This kind of "I-don't-know-if-people-with-ovaries-should-be-pastors-attitude" is among the reasons why my husband and I left "The Church of We are Always Right." We are raising two daughters to be godly women, you see, and it was pretty clear what kind of ministry and support the three of us would get. (Um. That would be "none.") I hope you don't have to go there because it sounds like you love what you are doing... when you can do it.

So what do you think are some of the "real issues" of women in ministry?
- Like our male counterparts, keeping a balance between our personal lives and our professional lives.
- Getting caught up in "the work week" vs. God's work.
- Not feeding our Soul's relationship -- stopping for refreshment and prayer with our Abba, resting at the feet of Jesus, being renewed by the Holy Spirit. Keep your spiritual tank full!
- Not clarifying what is a REQUIRED church event vs. what is an OPTIONAL event; not being clear on what your work week should include. No, you may not have kids with sports commitments or birthday parties... but you still should be able to have a 'life' -- AND a day off.
- Guilt, discouragement, worry, exhaustion...
- Forgetting that we don't have to please everyone, only God. People are going to disagree, disaprove, and try to disenchant you. That's a gender-free reality.
- Being blamed for all that is wrong with the church... (if you don't believe me, visit here and here. (That's just for starters. If you need to get really depressed, just Google "women preachers" --- or better yet, DON'T!)
- Finding encouragement from folks like Singing Owl, Rev. Abi, Reverend Mommy and other RevGals who are blogging down the path beside and ahead of me... Just don't go it alone!

A final thought...
God does not call all women to vocational ministry. (He does not call all men either!) Since you are set apart for this, there is going to be a sense of 'aloneness' in the Call -- realizing it is for you and YOU alone. No one else has been tasked to do what God is asking you to do. But you showed up to do it!

Sara Groves wrote a song called "Just Showed Up (For My Own Life)" which I commend to you...

I'm going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that's honest
and real until I'm truly amazed
I'm going to feel all my emotions
I'm going to look you in the eyes
I'm going to listen and hear until it's finally clear
and it changes our lives

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Bloom where you are planted...
Watch God do the work!

Pressing on...

Deb

I'm a little peahen...

Christine of Abbey of the Arts has offered a little poetry challenge this week. I am going to take her up on it!

Here's her challenge:

I had such fun with my first Invitation to Poetry posted a couple of weeks ago and loved reading all of your contributions so here is another invitation for you, my wonderful readers, to add your own words to the image below. This is a simple collage I made in about five minutes during a design elements class I took while at the art retreat, but something about it really speaks to me — the tension between the open cage and the open feathers speak to me of the promise of freedom. What does the image evoke for you?

Freed from the cage that bound me
Freed from the cramped quarters
the rules
the waiting...
Allowed to wander
to seek the path You designed...
My life a patchwork of seeming sameness...
block here.
block there.
day in.
day out.

"Peahens don't strut," you say.
"They don't have the need to.
It wouldn't be natural.
So, just get used to that cage
and be happy."

Suddenly!!
Wait - God unlocks the door! I spread my wings!
I show my stuff!
And wonder why I didn't see
for all those years
that I was ready to fly...

Deb
Freed
Flying
Grace

Back-to-School

Our kids started back to school today. They got out the door on time to make the bus (at least I think so... the schools haven't called us to tell us they are truant!) I remembered to go to the schools and drop off their "controlled medications" (aka Tylenol!) to the Health Room.

In my inbox this morning was the annual list from Beloit College on the class of 2011 (the present crop of 18 year olds.) They listed 70 things... I've culled out the ones that struck me. (The complete list is here.)

Most of the students entering College this fall, members of the Class of 2011, were born in 1989. For them, Alvin Ailey, Andrei Sakharov, Huey Newton, Emperor Hirohito, Ted Bundy, Abbie Hoffman, and Don the Beachcomber have always been dead.

#1. What Berlin wall? No, it never existed. But they know about it.

#3. Rush Limbaugh and the “Dittoheads” have always been lambasting liberals. hmmm... no comment.

#4. They never “rolled down” a car window. I hadn't thought about that one!

#7. They have grown up with bottled water. Yeah. Well, since the school drinking fountains are shut down because of lead in the water, I don't mind sending bottled water to school!

#11. Rap music has always been mainstream. Um... not in my river. But OK.

#35. Stadiums, rock tours and sporting events have always had corporate names. Huh. Yeah. Consider this: "Value City Arena at the Jerome Schottenstein Center" on the campus of Ohio State.

#64. Chavez has nothing to do with iceberg lettuce and everything to do with oil. Funny one.

#68. Burma has always been Myanmar. And my spell-checker STILL suggests I spell it "Mylar."

Great commentary on culture and the future of the church...

Deb

Prayer Synchroblog

Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what’s best— as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You’re in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You’re ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

This is my prayer today.
[Matthew 6:12-13, The Message]

Lyn at Emerging Women announced a Synchroblog for today... here's the topic:

The question for the synchroblog is "How Do You Pray?" The idea can be to discuss what your prayer life does or doesn't look like now compared to how it used to be. How do you view prayer? What part does it take place in your spiritual life right now and so on, you get the gist!

I'm in a Spiritual Formation class right now, interning, and taking a class on discipleship. This should be a no-brainer.

DREAM GOAL: A regular, heart-felt, authentic prayer life. A wall of strength and reinforcement of my faith and my emotional condition. A gentle yet gritty reality of God's protection and love in my life. Not perfect, at least not this side of heaven. Yet, something with a solid foundation. Substance. And beautiful.

REALITY: "Um... Uh... God? Yeah. I opened up my prayer journal to write and then the cat horked. I'm sorry. I meant to pray after I cleaned that up and the phone rang and then I remembered I hadn't changed over the laundry load from last week and the clothes are mildewed. SO I have washed them again. Oh... I'm babbling. Forgive me. I want to listen to You. I will do this right first thing tomorrow... Amen."

PLAN: Sit down right after the house is quiet (everyone is gone to work/school) and read/write/pray. Before anything else. God first.

REALITY: Life hits. "I forgot my lunch." "The bus never came." "Can you stop and pick up a prescription?" I think I will get back to it. I rarely do.

MID-COURSE CORRECTION: God first. Prayer first. Period. Set the timer. Do it.

REALITY: Sam's Club opens at 10 a.m. and I need to be gone BEFORE the lines are so long. Or it's a doctor's appointment. Or the car has to go in for an oil change. Now. Or someone called with a family crisis and needs prayer and can I visit their Aunt Susie in the hospital? And I just remembered I promised a double-batch of brownies for the pit orchestra rehearsal at the high school. The list is ridiculous and endless.

REVISED PLAN: A RevGal mentioned Pray-As-You-Go which has download-able podcasts for the work week. I love them. No it's not always "my" kind of music. That's not the point. Many times as I listen, I hear something new and wonderful from God that I had been wrestling with for a while. Or there's just a quieting. A bit of perspective. The music, Scripture reading, and meditation quiet my heart, focus my mind, encourage my soul. Between this and using the Fellowship of St. James lectionary readings, I believe I will have more success.

REALITY: Papers. Projects. Assignments. Seminaria Fertilizia abounds! "Deeply reflect" on this spiritual concept or that for a formation class. "Interact with your fellow students" in 250-300 words on this specific wondrous philosophical question that will only confound the wise. And, I, being simple, totally wipe out my brain.

I have struggled with this over the past year. I don't want to make my prayer life another exercise. And yet it is an "exercise" of my discipline. My commitment. My desire to talk with the Savior.

I've switched versions of the Bible (using The Message for devotional reading) and I don't try to do ALL of the St. James readings. I am working on consistency with PAYG. I'm achieving more success. But it is far from perfect...

And here I sit, blogging. And it is time to pray.

Dang... This being human thing sometimes really sucketh.

Deb

A cure for what ails ya...

I was buying shampoo for one of our daughters... and had an absolute gigglefest over this one. I HAD to buy it (good thing it was on sale) because I'm thinkin' there's a sermon illustration in there somewhere...

A Cultural Friday Five

Sally from RevGals writes:

I have spent the week at Summer School studying the Gospel and Western culture, we have looked at art, literature, music, film and popular culture in their myriad expressions. With that in mind I bring you the cultural Friday 5.

Name one of each of these which have helped/challenged you on your spiritual journey.

1. Book
A book? ONE book? Isn't that like asking what kind of chocolate is your favorite (and the answer is "yes"??) OK, OK, I'll play...

Because of its impact on my worldview and the way that Americans are perceived, particularly in the Middle East, I would have to say "Beirut Diary" by Sis Levin.

2. Piece of music
Geesh. This is as hard or harder as "A Book" for a musician! Do I go back to learning to play Bach's "Inventions"? The first dribbles of Christian music in the 70s? Disco? Country? The Who? Bono? Paul McCartney? Celtic harp? Mozart quintets? Ohio State University Marching Band? I am flummoxed. They are all a mishmash in my head and I really and truly can NOT pick one!

3. Work of art
Michaelangelo's "Pieta" moves me every time.

4. Film
You may wonder about me, but probably "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." I think there are lot of people who view Christ-followers as kin to those who await "the Coming of the Great White Handkerchief."

5. Unusual engagement with popular culture
I had to do a major mind shift when I began living and working outside Washington, DC - a place that is so self-absorbed and gives itself such self-importance... and has done a lot to increase my awareness of the errors (and pride) of BOTH sides of the political spectrum. It's why we subscribe to the two local newspapers. (the TRUTH is somewhere in the middle...) ...and why I have been encouraged by the writing I find at places like Third Way Cafe' and The Ooze.

Bonus: Is engagement essential to your Christian faith, how and why?
How could it not be essential? If we wrap our minds in spiritual bubblewrap and never stop to consider WHO is speaking in our cultures, WHAT they consider important and WHY their worldview does not include God, we will be as ineffectual as "paste up" artist at a newspaper...

Does it make the changes in society "right" or "wrong"? Not necessarily. (Consider civil rights and [ahem] women pastors...) But if you do not understand where your contemporaries are, what they listen to and think about, how can you begin to speak to their spiritual needs? There are no "good old days" and it's time we look at where we ARE and how GOD would work in us and through us. Thankfully, most believers are not as isolated and out-of-touch as people who would order "Armor of God PJs" for their kids...

Personally, I know that if I am not allowing God to work in me, to bring about formation in my being, then I am as bad or worse off as my contemporaries who have taken God out of the picture completely...

Deb

=====

Oh... P.S. I don't know why I can't have one of the cool Soldier helmets instead of a "Maid Marion" get up. And where's my sword?? A real one. With a nice sharp edge. I'm just sayin...

Motherhood ain't for wimps...

Every now and then, I read someone else's blog or writing and have a good, hard, laugh-until-you-cry giggle session.

This afternoon was one of them.

First you need to read this eBay listing... originally listed here. (If the link doesn't work, give me your email in the comments... I have saved the text!!!)

Then you need to visit her blog.

A woman after my own heart...

Deb

Detours

It was not the way I planned it... on our way home, an emergency sign broadcast this message: "I-95 closed at Exit 15. Use alternate routes."

Close an Interstate highway? What's up with that?

But I am a seasoned traveler on this section of I-95. We have to travel it every time we go to the beach... I love getting there. I hate driving it!

I know the best places to stop and refuel, where there's clean bathrooms (usually!) and what time of day to try and get through the Richmond-DC corridor without too much stress. I had my stops planned out, and getting off at the next exit was NOT in the plan. But I did it anyway, because I knew to keep traveling meant that I would be at the mercy of the detour decreed by the NC Highway Department, instead of planning my own route.

After refueling, getting a quick snack, consulting my maps (AND buying some fresh peaches!) we headed off on a short backroads tour of the South Carolina - North Carolina border. I didn't know WHY I was doing this detour. I just did it.

We saw lovely small towns. A cypress swamp with egrets and (I think) alligators. Farmland. Closed mills and the suffering of the infrastructure of the town (bad roads, abandoned buildings.) Zigging and zagging, we finally headed back towards I-95, only to discover one of the reasons the road was closed - a wild fire! By this morning, over 800 acres had burned and the visibility on I-95 and Route 74 was so bad that there were several fatal accidents...

But I didn't know any of that at the time. I decided to roll with it and got a little visual reminder of why it's good to "obey the signs" God (or the highway authority) provides...

I'm just thinking on that one today as I travel...

Deb

slack time...

This week we're at the beach... and it has been wonderful. No real time schedule to keep. Maybe three meals a day, and maybe five. Maybe we eat green vegetables, and maybe we just enjoy the fresh corn, shrimp, stone crab and tuna steaks!!! (Yeah. I think I will go with the corn and seafood!)

It's slack time... In nautical terms, that's the time in between the changes of the tides... The waves are smaller, the current is relaxed, and your footing is very secure. In those moments, the bottom is clearest because there's less sediment being kicked up. You can see things you would normally miss as they navigate by you in the water.

Then, quickly and almost without warning, the tide turns. The waves pick up and things start getting tossed about. If you aren't careful, you are either left high and dry, or you get overrun by the advancing waves. Those moments have their excitement, to be sure. But it's kinda nice to be in the slack water, even just for a few precious hours!

My semester starts up this week. Classes and my internship begin Wednesday. I have a whole bunch of niggling fears but have been working on releasing them, not carrying them around like so many dead fish! The kids start back to school next Monday ("MOommmm!!! Don't REMIND us!") and that means all of their associated activities with school as well. All too soon it'll be... "SURF'S UP!!!"

I'm taking a deep breath.
Drinking in the quiet.
Soaking up the slack time...
Remembering and treasuring the places we have seen God this week...

And as I do, a verse of an old hymn comes to mind...
O, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O, how marvelous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Belovèd,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.
["Jesus, I am Resting, Resting" Words: Jean Pigott, 1876. Music: James Mountain, 1876]


Can't beat that...

Deb