Beware the Ide(a)s of March

I admit it. It was my fault. I was in a hurry. I brought it on myself.

Last week, I was trying to make a deadline for submitting an assignment, get a daughter to a job interview, be home for an appliance delivery, and meet a friend at the hospital whose family member was gravely ill. Oh, and I was also responding to an email from a friend that I had spent time with during my modular (intensive class) at seminary. There was also the usual - meals, laundry, enjoying time with family...  That all happened in a 24 hour period.

So I mindlessly responded to a request to install a plug-in by clicking "yes" when I visited a website suggested by my friend's email to me...  My distracted brain thought that because I had just updated my web browser, that I was missing this plug-in. My common sense brain which usually screams "CHECK THE URL!!!" was too far in the distance to get through... until it was too late.

RATS!

Window after window launched. I started to try and close them, and then reached for my wireless antenna switch and moved it to OFF. Error message after error message loaded. My computer crashed.

 I got that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew that I had just introduced some kind of malware to my laptop. The laptop that has ALL of my coursework, files, projects and a flippin 20 page paper well along in the development process. (Yes I had an incremental back up. Please.)

Of course I ran my brand-name virus protection scan. It found nothing. It didn't flag the worm or virus when I clicked on it. (WHY? We don't know.) And it didn't stop it from inserting itself into my computer's registry. But the results were unmistakeable. Despite my virus scanner giving the laptop a clean bill of health, I couldn't connect to any websites which were malware-removal related. I couldn't update my own virus protection (fat lotta good it did, but...) and I found out that friends were getting messages from "me" inviting them to check out this website.

Like Paul Revere I posted a warning... hoped that I didn't catch anyone in my net of stupidity... and started reading.

Malware is meant to catch busy, distracted people. It mimics real, normal computer downloads. It looks close enough to the real thing that unless you are being attentive, you miss the subtle differences. And it works FAST! Its influence is felt almost immediately.

Where am I going with this?

So much of life we are busy. Doing. Listening. Helping. Playing. Reading. Writing papers (that's if you're in graduate school...) Exercising. Cooking. Cleaning. Driving. Parking. Shopping. (Fill in the blank.) We are distracted. We drive with the radio on, the wireless headset in our ear. We are miraculously skilled at gauging which grocery store line will be the fastest. (You know you do. I do too!) We are distracted.

This Lent I've been trying to slow down. To listen more, ponder more, be more available. To be fully present when I am with family or friends. I don't want to add any "relational malware" to anyone's life.

When I do -- I am so thankful that God has made a way. That forgiveness is real, and that I am blessed to have some pretty amazing friends and family. Thanks. Love you guys a lot. A LOT!!!!

Really. Thanks.

Friday Five: Social Media Edition

Kathrynzj from RevGalBlogPals writes:

I had the joy of spending time with Songbird last weekend, someone I would have never met had it not been for the blogosphere. Now we keep in touch using a large variety of methods: blog (hers a lot, mine not so much lately), FaceBook, twitter, text messaging, chat and email. So far there has been no Skype.

It got me to thinking of the pros and cons of these relatively new means of communication and interconnecting and so I ask you the following:


1) What have been the benefits for you of social networking (blog, twitter, facebook, etc...)
First of all, I discovered the RevGals when I was a newbie in seminary and wondering if I was the only (a) 3rd career pastor-in-training (b) woman in seminary (c) secret feminist (d) person trying to serve God and walking that line between "the 2 R's" (Rush Limbaugh and Roger Moore!)  To my delight, I discovered I had a plethora of cyber-friends and encouragers waiting to be found!

2) Which medium do you use the most? Or if you use them all, for what do you use each of them?I use them all!I have blogged since 2004 and have a family website (sadly unedited at the moment!) The blog and website are more oriented towards practical, thoughtful and usually whimsical writing. Facebook and Twitter and Skype are quick, easy ways to keep in touch with family and friends. Facebook has become a great way to connect in "the the real world" as I'm working on networking and preparing to find a job (August-September 2010, in case you are hiring!) Twitter is an easy way to update my Facebook and Blog "status bar" in one fell swoop, particularly via my cell phone.

3) If you could invent a networking site (with no limits on your imagination), what would it provide? What would it not provide?
Some kind of "speed dial" that would let me voice-activate update my status... ?

4) Who have you met that you would not have met if it were not for the 'miracle' of social networking?Back when I was trying to be more "whole foods" oriented, I met a bunch of women through a digest/email list. Some of them were pretty "out there" ("sugar causes cancer" etc) but we got to know a great family through that list. DebD and I are very different, but there is a kindred Spirit that makes us friends. We keep in touch via the web; her blog/Facebook is one of the ones I follow pretty faithfully.

5) Who do you secretly pray does not one day try to 'friend/follow' you?SNORT. Like I'm going to publicly write that here? Use your imagination.

BONUS: What was the most random/weird/unsettling/wonderful connection you made that would not have happened if it were not for the ease of which we can find each other in the computer realm?
The day that I found out I was going to be ordained, I managed to contact Mary Beth via phone, who was here in the DC area for a convention. My fellow ordinand and I had just decided that we were going to have a luau celebration theme, and she had just found a beautiful flower lei on the street! What a God connection! :)

Friday Five: Friends

Jan from RevGalBlogPals writes:

Ever since I found out I could be the hostess for the third Friday Five of each month, I have not been able to get the thought of friends out of my mind. Being an only child (all growed up) who moved around a lot in my lifetime, friends have always been very important to me. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote: "The way to have a friend is to be a friend."

So today let's write about the different kinds of friends we have, like childhood friends, lost friends, tennis friends, work friends, and the list goes on. List 5 different types of friends you have had in your life and what they were/are like.

1. Childhood friends

Growing up, we lived in Ohio, then South Carolina, then Ohio again. I have "sets" of friends from elementary school, junior high, high school and college that I admit I have no clue anything about them - where they are, what they are doing in life, etc. Even m>y high school friends, BFFs to use teen parlance, and my closest friends and sorority sisters from college are not on my radar screen. Occasionally one of my sibs will hear from someone I know and send a "hello" -- and I think "gee, that's nice" -- and don't muscle up the energy to respond. So hey -- if you went to any of these schools - drop me a comment! :)

• Lexington Elementary in Lexington, Ohio
• Ebenezer Elementary and Ebinport Elementary in Rock Hill, SC
• Sullivan Jr. High in Rock Hill, SC
• North High School in Columbus, Ohio
• OSU School of Music

2. Lost friends

My friends Carolyn and Tania were in my wedding. I have no clue where they are today. Carolyn got married. Tania got married and divorced, and I think she is now remarried. I'd love to find them again...

3. PTSA friends

Some of these women I have spent a lot of hours with, running committees, leading events, raising money, volunteering in the classroom, and advocating for our kids. One "set" of these friends is graduating... four more years... wow.

4. Seminary friends

These are very active, and Facebook sure makes a difference in staying in touch. We celebrate and love each other through the changes and challenges of finishing school (or managing to STAY IN school).

Last summer I took a Mentoring Women class. Our professor organized us into work groups, and we spent our modular week laughing, crying, and praying together. It was energizing and encouraging! We called our group "Daughters of the Lion" - a BIG shout out to them! (And for some reason, I don't have a group picture of us... bummer.)

Various other friends from divinity school - we started together three years ago and are still going at it, one semester at a time. We are from California, Texas, Georgia and Maryland, and still are friends and co-laborers for Godstuff.




5. Friends for the journey

There's groups within a group here...

- RevGals - so many... and I'm so grateful to have found you via a random "women pastors" Google search!

-I just realized I need a picture of these women... they are "The Pastorettes" as we jokingly call ourselves. We meet for life, love and encouragement every month. Dana and I are the seminarians, and Terry and Marina are pastors in the area. I truly love them.

- A dated picture, but here's most of the team at the church where I work. This was taken last year at a "Retro" party.



- My Bearded Brewer, Reedy Girl, and the Harpist. Love them the most. My prayer is that, as our girls grow up, they will be daughters and friends for BB and me.



As a bonus, put a link to a new (to you) blogging friend and introduce us!
Well, she's not a new friend, but she will be a new blogging fried to all of you. DebD is a homeschooling mom and long-time friend. We actually "met" via another on-line group, and then discovered we lived within 4 miles of one another. But that's a tale for another day...

Here's her self description:

I am a Christian homeschooling mom and wife with 6 children whom I have been homeschooling since 1991. As of the 2007/2008 school year, two of my children are in college, one in private school, and the final three are still at home. I am a convert to the Eastern Orthodox Christianity from a mixture of the Charismatic, Reformed, and Lutheran faith. I hope you will find a nice mix of family life, homeschooling, and faith on my blog.

“Of all holy work, the education of children is
the Most Holy.” --St Theophan the Recluse.

Hope you'll visit her!

peace out, friends...

Deb

Undo...

UNDO!! UNDO!!!

Do-overs.
Mulligans.
Reboot.
Retry.
Correct.
Amend.
Fix.
Improve.
Clean up.
Try again.
De-bug.

We ask for them in golf matches.
We beg the umpire for a review.
We fix documents.
We persuade our computers to work. (maybe!)

We need UNDOs in life.
And more than once when I've realized I've let someone down or watched as someone is hurt... I've wished that we could just erase memories and conversations with an "undo" button, or something.

As part of the reflection process in my coursework, I'm asked to consider what I've succeeded at doing, where I need help, and where I need to make more minor, mid-course corrections.

So many UNDOs, so little time...

I know that there's really two steps to this process for me.

The first is that I be willing to try again.
For me, that's huge. If I'm hurt, or have been wounded by someone, I have trouble trusting it will turn out OK. Ever. But to gather courage in hand and try again, (and again and again and again... times seventy!) is all God asks.

The second is to forgive.
Forgive without expecting the other person will change, setting aside pride and anger and hurt to forgive the other person. That's harder. Because I personally want blame assigned or accepted. Or I want to, as they say, "chew 'em a new one."

Instead, God asks that I forgive and wisely choose my next course of action. It's not that I would automatically choose that same course of action, or the same relationships, or even the same job... but to leave things hanging out there, bleeding and oozing pain??? Or to stuff my disappointments, hide them, and not admit it hurts??? No, that's not what God asks.

Please note.... FORGIVENESS does not equal STUPID.
I can take steps of healing or steps of wounding. And as far as God helps me, I'd like it to be the former.

If I hang on to my anger, I become sarcastic. Or bitter. I retreat and I don't invest emotionally, because, who wants to hurt again? As an extrovert and a "feeling" person, sometimes I feel overexposed and vulnerable. I need to step back, assess, and own my part of the problem (which is always bigger than it first seemed! Funny how that works....) and not retreat. I need the opportunity to have a big "UNDO" in my life, in my heart, in my relationships.

Time and time again, God has been patient, faithful and accepting towards me. Not because I deserve it, but because I have a love relationship with God that is not based on performance, but on a God-sized sacrifice.

I just stumbled on to the band Rush of Fools and this song in particular has been running through my mind... it's called --- "UNDO"

Hear their message of honest confession and healing... It's yours, mine, ours for the taking.

Peace-
Deb

UNDO by Rush of Fools

In a Quiet Place...

What a lovely morning! We are up for a short visit with friends in a more rural area of Maryland (Carroll County.) Even though I have studying I could do, I'm vegging and thinking.

We were up at dawn this Sunday to sing and celebrate. It was a raucous worship time. Very loud. Very joyous. Laughter. Clapping. Cheers.

The way home, everyone was subdued and the coffee we chugged at 5:30 a.m. had started to wear off. Driving over the back roads towards our friend's log house, the morning mist was settling in the hollows of the cornfields. It looked like a thin layer of quilt batting with wispy edges! I was wishing for my camera so that I could capture the beauty. Everything was still tucked in for the night.

Now the house is relatively quiet (since everyone else is napping) and I hear only the wind chimes and birds for background noise, with the dishwasher humming and the occasional car on the gravel road out front. Quiet. Peace. Rest.

The extreme contrast is what life is all about. Peaks. Valleys. Celebrations. Reflection. And God is there every step of the way..

I am just grateful, that's all...

Deb