When God shows up...

Not my photo, FYI :^)

Today was... amazing.

Sometimes, you believe that you have something to say, but you get in the way of God's words.
Sometimes, you prepare and double prepare... and it just isn't your day.

Every time I preach, I have...
listened...
prayed....
vetted my ideas and outline...
some more...
get critique and coaching
tweak and timed and tweaked and timed some more...

And today...
God showed up.

I'm stunned.
Amazed.
Grateful.
And still processing it.

A bunch of you prayed, listened and helped me remember that it really is NOT about Deb.
It's about God.
It's about communicating hope.
And getting the Word out.

And to be a part of that --
Is completely and totally why I would do it again next week...

Gratefully...
Deb

Spent for Jesus

Two services....
sermon delivered...

It's done. I'm spent. Not sure how it went but the word was "good job" from God so... all the rest I take as gravy.

I have great kids. A great husband... what a blessing.

And now??? It's naptime!

Love,
Deb

ack ack ack ack

ACK ACK ACK

That's not the sound of a hairball.. that's the sound of a student preacher in a mild state of panic.

Sermon is written but is TOOOOOOooo long. WAYYYyyyy too long!!!

Dang it.

I know why. I wrote it and then took everyone's suggestions and added them.

I know all good movies leave half the film on the cutting room floor.

snip. snip. snip... here I go!!!

deb

Nerves

YIKES!

I'm preaching on Sunday. Mother's Day. On Hannah. And struggling with competing ideas, suggestions and lots and LOTS and LOOOOTTTTTSSSSS of advice.

Ack.
And yes.
Nerves.

Typing away... praying a lot... revising... editing...
Getting it together...
One step at a time...

Deb

preaching without a voice

How do you preach without a voice?

Dunno. But that's what happened today. My cold did not go away. I have a cough that will make ya cringe. And me and the lotion tissues box are never far away from each other...

Was it perfect? No. Was it the best I could give. Yeah, I think so. Did God's message get across? Judging from a couple of heart-to-heart chats afterwards... yes.

I didn't do this on my own. I have great mentors. I have the resources of an experienced teaching team who willingly share with me their knowledge and experience. And I'm still overwhelmed at the process of being bent, shaped, molded and used... and knowing that in my heart of hearts, what I managed to bring out (exegete, if you will) pleased God.

To my praying friends and family, blogging and non-blogging - thanks...

with a full heart...
Deb

Grace falling like rain...

I have a sense of God's love washing over me... in ways that I did not expect today. It's busy. It's almost so busy it's frantic. But love and peace are falling down on my head, in an almost overwhelming way...

Why is that? and why and I so surpised?? WHO is in charge?? I sense His love and blessing and am weeping...

• Maybe it's because I am a few days away from departure and am feeling some (self-induced) performance pressure
• Maybe it's because I am writing a sermon on "complaining" and I realize how much I do it myself... a case of preacher, heal thyself?
  
• Maybe it's because I am receiving emails and letters full of love - - of excitement, joy and encouragement as I'm preparing to leave
• Maybe it's the deadline extended on a paper that was supposed to be done and won't be
• Maybe it's because God's grace flows when we look up and cry, "OH GOD, HELP!"

I am undone.
God is kind and loving and gracious.
And it is never earned... only given...

Not whining or complaining.
Just incredibly grateful...
Blessed....

and dang it, crying again.

Deb


Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away



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Now playing: Todd Agnew - Grace Like Rain
via FoxyTunes

Life on the Rapids...

My calendar is overstuffed.

I'm not complaining! It's the hum of life... family... school.. interning... errands... household chores... But deep thought blogging just isn't possible at moment...

I'm here. I'm doing well and feeling loved. One of my friends describes it as "life in the rapids" -- exciting, busy, and all I can do is paddle and enjoy the ride!

Please do pray for me and the rest of the creative arts team from Journeys Crossing heading to Poitiers, France on Sunday, Nov. 11th!! I am part of a great team, very committed, very talented and I am learning a lot from all of them.

Here's a rough schedule of our trip:

• Sunday, 11/11 Depart Dulles around 5 p.m. Travel overnight, arrive at Charles deGaulle about 6 a.m. local time (12 midnight EST)
• Monday, 11/12 Take train to Poitiers with equipment and luggage, arrive about lunch time. Spend afternoon renting band equipment, setting it up, checking into the hotel, getting groceries and making dinner, etc.
• Tuesday, 11/13 Band rehearsal, walking tour of Poitiers
• Wednesday, 11/14 and Thursday, 11/15 Coffeehouses (evenings - about 2 p.m EST)
• Friday 11/16 and Saturday 11/17 community outreach for church, including an American Thanksgiving Dinner
• Sunday 11/18 assist with morning church services, pack up and take train back to Paris
• Monday, 11/19 Americans in Paris for the day! (yes, only one day.)
• Tuesday, 11/20 head home to Dulles airport, return about 2:30 p.m. EST

Between now and the 11th, there's lots of "stuff" going on. And if I get a chance, I'll blog. It's really amazing to watch God work.

Deb

contentment...

These people are grumblers and complainers, living only to satisfy their desires. They brag loudly about themselves, and they flatter others to get what they want. [Jude 16]

I re-read Jude after my friend Dana preached on it... and as part of my word study of "complaining" which I will be preaching on next month. This little word "contentment" keeps popping up on my mental radar screen.

Contentment...
regardless of circumstances.
Contentment...
regardless of whether or not what I do is worthy of recognition.
Contentment...
regardless of how hard the job or seemingly unimportant the task.
Contentment...
resting in God's direction, care and counsel.

Complaining and a lack of contentment are linked in a deep way. Now if I can just tease that out so that I can show God's way, not our "default mode" of operations...

Just thinking out loud...
Deb

spinning my wheels...

I haven't gotten this balance between an honest self-appraisal and rating myself in the bottom ten of whatever I attempt. As I wrestle with this, you'll have to be patient with where I'm blogging from day to day. I know I seem to vascillate between "I AM all that and a bag of chips" and "I am a flippin' idiot." Not just in preaching, but in anything.

Healthy? Yes, when I can take myself less seriously and yet be serious about growing.
Unhealthy? Sure. Because I obsess and deal with perfectionist "tapes" in my head.

As I pray and think on this, I understand that the same drive to do it all "perfectly" is the same drive that causes me to self-destruct, or to not move at all in a fit of anxious "how-am-I-gonnas"...

Not stuck... just spinning my wheels on this...
Deb

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Now playing: Casting Crowns - And Now My Lifesong Sings
via FoxyTunes