Monday, October 15, 2007

spinning my wheels...

I haven't gotten this balance between an honest self-appraisal and rating myself in the bottom ten of whatever I attempt. As I wrestle with this, you'll have to be patient with where I'm blogging from day to day. I know I seem to vascillate between "I AM all that and a bag of chips" and "I am a flippin' idiot." Not just in preaching, but in anything.

Healthy? Yes, when I can take myself less seriously and yet be serious about growing.
Unhealthy? Sure. Because I obsess and deal with perfectionist "tapes" in my head.

As I pray and think on this, I understand that the same drive to do it all "perfectly" is the same drive that causes me to self-destruct, or to not move at all in a fit of anxious "how-am-I-gonnas"...

Not stuck... just spinning my wheels on this...
Deb

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Now playing: Casting Crowns - And Now My Lifesong Sings
via FoxyTunes

2 comments:

Presbyterian Gal said...

Balance, balance. So hard when you have to run full force on tiptoes.

All I can give you is this:
I am a bag of chips and all that
and I am an idiot.
All at once at the same time.
The only one who makes any sense of any of this
through the darkly glass of me
is Jesus.
And he is perfect balance.

Hang on sloopy!

the reverend mommy said...

Validation is the hardest thing. Our society conditions women (especially) to look for validation out side of ourselves, in this world, but it isn't true validation.

As PG just said, it's all in the balance...