Back-up Singer to God

This past weekend, I had a sterling opportunity to worship and not lead. (Any of you who do lead worship on a regular basis understand what I mean by that...) At any rate, I enjoyed the moment to focus on the God of my music, and not the tempo, dynamics, how many reps, closing out, etc.

The worship leaders were wonderful! Let me explain why:

1. The rhythm section: They were tight. They were totally TOTALLY in sync. I think they even breathed as one! They were so "together" that it seemed totally natural. That only happens with a group that has spent many hours working on music together. They were not imitating each other - they WERE ONE TEAM.
   
2. The visuals: They were designed to focus my mind on the words themselves, to engage my brain as my mouth was moving. Outside of that novelty (there - I said it first!), there was also the beautiful nature shots that were backdrops to the sung and spoken Word of God.
   
3. The back-up singers: They fit in with the lead singer, supporting and giving color to the words and melody. They did it so carefully, you had to actually listen with a discerning ear to find their melodic line. Their parts could not stand alone. They were simply depending on the Lead.

These three aspects of the worship team led me to ponder my heart attitudes towards leading worship.

1. The rhythm section: Am I tight with God? Do I know without any reservation what He wants from me, and where He is leading me? Am I clear on His Words to me?
2. The visuals: What do I show others? Does it distract or point them towards the main message of my life - Jesus Christ? Do I encourage and lift them up?
3. The back-up singers: Am I content to be used however God asks - - even if it is not what I really wanted to do? Does my part blend with the Lord's so perfectly that you don't see "Deb", you only see "Jesus"? That is my desire above all else!

I have much to learn and a long way to go...

and you should hear the angels sing
all gathered round their King
more beautiful than you could dream
i've been quietly listening
you can hear 'em now, i hear em now...
- david crowder

From our home to yours,

Deb

Spiritual Termites

Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for Himself;
the LORD will hear when I call to Him.
In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.
(Psalm 4: 3-4)

Termites, those wood-munching midgets, cause most of their damage silently. By the time you see their tunnels, or discover the chewed wood, they are either long-gone (leaving weakened structures behind) or they are in full attack mode.

During my grad. school days, I remember watching houses in the Miami area being "tented" for termites. First, families, pets, plants and food were removed. Then, a whole building was covered in non-gas-permeable tarps, and the structure was flooded with poisons to kill off all of the crawling things. Here in Maryland we have these lovely subterranean termites (the kind that "recycle" downed wood and colonize in the frames of houses.) Our "perimeter defense system" (aka buried poison and baiting stations) have helped keep our home free from termite infestations... I think...

And that's the problem. We THINK that we don't have any termites. But I have this sneaking suspicion that, on any given day, you could find some chomping away less than a meter from our home. We dare not let our termite treatment 'guarantee' lapse. We don't want to be caught off guard.

Ah, that I could only be so diligent in the spiritual realm. But I am not! Over the last several months, I've found 'colonies' of all sorts of "spiritual termites" trying to take up residence in my life. By themselves, they are basically innocuous, or at their worst, distracting others from the Christ-likeness I want to show in my life. It is a bit disquieting to discover this.

The only effective treatments? Prayer. Times of quiet reflection. Scripture. Accountability to friends. Honesty - REAL honesty with God about what I dream of doing for Him, and where I am in the process. It's not that I need to self-flagellate or have a time of morbid self-introspection. Nope. I just need to get "face time" with Jesus. I need to hear His Heart, as He knows mine so well, and respond...

Are we on the same page, Lord?
Is there anything else I should be thinking
...or doing
...or saying
...or not saying?

The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD;
He directs it like a watercourse wherever He pleases.
All a man's ways seem right to him,
but the LORD weighs the heart.
To do what is right and just
is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.
(Proverbs 21:1-3)

From our home to yours -
Deb

Milemarkers

In September of 2003, my husband and I started the application process for his mom to move closer to us. Though she has been living an apartment not too far from us for the last year, she was actually in a 'holding pattern', waiting for her number to come up in a life-care community. Now, 2 years after the process began, we have come to moving day! It will be a day of frustrations, confusion, and unfortunately, rain showers!

All I could think of was what had happened in the process of meeting this much-anticipated mile marker. In the waiting, there has been illness, surgery, grief, vacations, misunderstandings, celebrations, birthdays, Christmas, middle school graduation, concerts, hurricanes, thunderstorms and finally... a move. In the midst of the highs and lows of the last months, inspite of worries and joys, God has been there and has been faithful.

What is hardest to spell out for the cynical and the angry person is how God has helped me cope. He has. I have laughed hard, cried often and loved much. I've had supportive friends at each wobble in my course. I've stayed married - no small feat in today's world. I have read His Word and found encouragement; I have neglected my prayer life and heard His love for me anyway. Obviously, this Love one does not earn!

In a way, my calendar is no more or no less busy than any other woman or mother. I don't have high-flying clients. I don't have a nanny or maid. I don't have a fancy wardrobe or a facelift... but I do have Love in my life. Unending Love. Undeserved Love. Unexpected Love.

I looked at my calendar for next week, trying to gauge what's ahead. A mammogram. Ah, there's pause for thought and a few anxious 'what ifs'??? Yet, in spite of what is or is not going to show up on a piece of film, God will be there. And for all the other milemarkers ahead in my life? Yup. He's there for those, too...

From our home to yours...
Deb

Something in the fridge is growing hair!

It never fails. I make a list, go to the grocery, and in a week, something in the fridge is growing "hair". Well - not really hair - I guess it sounds better than wild funky mold spores.

Fact: one mold spore can recolonize a whole fridge. Who knew? I've cleaned and bleached it. Still it grows hair. I've emptied and rinsed it with boiling water. Still it grows hair. Gee, isn't THIS uplifting. And appetizing!

Much like the example of the yeast in I Corinthians 5, I've got an ugly metaphor for the sin in my life. Oh, my tendency to sin will never go away completely. But I am noticing, that, as I grow along with Christ, I'm getting a little better at seeing my sin earlier in the process. I will struggle - - and keep on growing. Just like the hairy vegetables in my fridge, it doesn't get as bad before I notice and work to clean things up...

Here's to a hairy-free fridge! And the promise of an eternal (sin free) life!

From our home to yours...

Deb

Closet Secrets

I know everyone has them. The closets that you pray NO ONE will look into because they are toal disaster areas. I have named 2 closets in our house, to the amusement of my kids. The front hall closet is called "The Black Hole", and my closet is "The Pit of Despair".

"The Black Hole" never seems to stay organized. I've tried every trick, gotten bins, special hangers and labeled boxes. I've drawn up a "map" of where things go. I've hung silly signs. My family is not functionally illiterate, just organizationally challenged.

I understand their rationale: "I'll just stick this here and get it later." OOHHH!!! BAD IDEA! "Later" never happens!!!

I have discovered no organizational scheme works... EXCEPT this one: every other month, I clean out and reorganize it. (I've chosen the 'even' months, but it doesn't really matter!) On the appointed day, everything comes out of that closet: coats, boots, camera, craft supplies, school supplies, cleaning supplies, and more. Somehow, there is always a bag of trash, a bag of giveaways, and a bag to put away where it belongs! Every single time? Yup.

The closet seems to have magic powers of multiplication for everything except money! No wait, THAT'S not true! I found $20 squirreled away in a winter coat!

Hmmmmm....

I'm sure you are looking for some grand spiritual connection. There is none, other than de-cluttering your heart with God... don't let the junk pile up.

From our home to yours...

Deb

Un-Routines

Summer is usually a time for 'un-routines' for me, and for the whole household. Slowly we drift from early bedtimes and predawn "stagger-to-the-coffee" mornings to a more unpredictable, relaxed schedule of waking and sleeping. Alarm clocks are rarely used. It's a nice change of pace.

Actually, the only significant difference is the lack of scheduled appointments and required events. The calendar looks almost bare! NO homework tutoring, after-school rehearsals or projects clutter the day. NO volunteer work at school. NO choir rehearsals or drama practices. NO committee meetings! (YAHOOOOOOOOOOO!) Instead, we have downtime with friends, play at the pool and read a ton of books.

I have found that I desparately need my routines in the Spiritual disciplines regardless of the season. My time of private prayer, study, worship, Bible reading and time with Christian friends can't go on vacation. I need to keep those spiritual 'muscles' strong. The only way I can keep them going is to have some sort of predictable schedule. For if I sleep in until 9 am every morning, I don't have time to read and pray before starting on the day's activities.

This summer, though, I had to admit that there are others areas in my life that can't be shelved for the summer. For instance, much as I dislike cleaning, doing laundry, fixing meals and washing dishes, the household doesn't run for long without these tasks. Especially fixing meals! People can walk on dirty floors and make do with wrinkled shirts, but take away their food and they get a little cranky! And as much as I get lobbied for a 'vacation' from it, practicing musical instruments can't stop, either. (And no amount of whining in the world gets me to bend on that one!)

With a sigh, I'm back to being a Flybaby again, EVEN in the summer. No whining, just doing the best I can. I'm working at keeping my routines done, yet done flexibly. I love FlyLady because of her sense of humor, and the way she keeps me on task. The other day I did a "sofa cushion dive" and found $3.21 in change, a missing hairbrush and a couple of pens and pencils, not to mention a permission slip for school that "never" came home. I realized then that my kids and husband need me to be a Flybaby all year.

FlyLady, you'll be SO proud of me. My sink is shining!!! :)

From our home to yours,

Deb

Wash away those stains...

Four days of painting... one outfit. It bears the stains of my work!
- primer
- ceiling
- wall colors (2)
- trim
- closet doors

Yup, it is now a technicolor shirt and jeans outfit! Thankfully, I've washed it and the smell that came with those colors is gone. But the stains remain.

The immediate parallel that came to my mind was the forgiveness but the lingering effects of sin. My sins are washed away by accepting Jesus' death for me. But the 'stains' (or scars, if you will) are still there.

As time goes on, the paint stains will weather and become smaller, but they will never completely go away. The guilt and shame are gone - the visible reminders of what I've done will crop up from time to time... but come the day I go to heaven, they will be gone!

OK so you might think that is too restrictive a belief system. I guess one day we will find out who's right... I'm banking on my Savior...

How clean is your shirt?

From our home to yours...

Deb

Benched!

I'm benched! Required to sit on the sidelines! Out of the game! And all because of a virus turned bronchitis.

It's especially hard because my kids both had concerts this weekend, and I could not go. Well, I COULD have gone - and shared whatever is causing my fever and cough with the populace. But that would not have been kind. So my husband, as chauffeur and chef in my absence, went and took pictures. Not quite the same...

I'm sitting here feeling grumbly and decided instead to pray and read. And since I am feeling short of breath, decided to look up all of the verses that deal with "breath" or "breathing". Here's a quick synopsis...

BREATH OF GOD
Powerful, creative, and brings life, death and judgment to every human being.

BREATHED HIS LAST
Every time I read this, I stop and think, "and in that next moment, he was in the presence of God Almighty." Yet somehow this does not bring me comfort when I am wheezing and struggling to breathe...

BREATHING
The most frequent reference suggests the ways we humans love making threats or venting anger (under our breath). Humanity is full of angry, vengeful people. I belong to that class of created beings, so don't think I am acting holier than thou. While God has the ultimate power - - we have it too.

I can 'slice and dice' someone's argument under my breath (the most frequent place this happens is listening to a sermon...) but that is the same in God's eyes as if I were doing it out loud. My heart attitude is what needs the cleansing... and my actions need to follow.

A sort of "spiritual antibiotic" to get the bugs out...

From our home to yours...

Deb

Souvenirs of misery

International travel has a way of showing what I really "need" to take along. While I have gotten better and better at packing and consolidating my suitcase, I still don't do a perfect job. Part of the problem is not what I start out with, but what I bring home!

Yup, I'm a good tourist. I bring home LOTS of souvenirs. And as I pack and re-pack, I struggle to fit them all in...

One of my daughters was listening to a song the other day, and the lyrics helped me put some pieces together:

Well, I was doublin' over, the load on my shoulders
Was a weight I carried with me everyday
Crossin' miles of frustrations and rivers a ragin'
Pickin' up stones I found along the way

You see, it isn't what I started with that causes my problems over the long haul. It's what I add to my already full suitcase...

I staggered and I stumbled down
Pathways of trouble
I was haulin' those souvenirs of misery
And with each step taken my back was breakin'
'Til I found the One who took it all from me

Souvenirs of misery... What a great way to describe what I carry along as I stagger through life! The misery itself (the sin, the mistakes) are over and done with, forgiven and forgotten by God. But the 'souvenirs' live on in the consequences of our actions: in broken relationships, hurt feelings, bad memories, or a bad habit that I just can't break so easily.

Through the darkest alleys and loneliest valleys
I was draggin' those heavy chains of doubt and fear
Then with the one Word spoken the locks were broken
Now He's leading me to places
Where there are no tears

Little by little, I'm releasing my hold on the chains of doubt and fear that I've collected in my life. God unlocked the chains years ago, but I seem to insist on carrying them around any way. (No it doesn't make sense... but that just proves I am so very human!) I can say in confidence that when I make it to heaven, to the place "where there are no tears," every one of those chains will be gone.

I really am learning how to be "travelin' light"!

From our home to yours -

Deb

Buildings for God

After a recent trip to England, visiting some of the large and small "buildings for God" (i.e. churches and cathedrals) I had to ponder "what do these buildings mean to the everyday person?"

• Are they monuments to what people believed in the past?
• Are they historical landmarks that make a city or town look quaint, and attract tourists?
• Or, are they centers of empowered worship, vitally portraying the Living Triune God?

I'd like to hope and believe for the last option. But I'm not so sure.

I'm not the only one who has pondered this question. Howard Snyder, in a recent article in Christianity Today, offered his thoughts. He notes that "Jesus-centered" churches can keep their priorities straight between builidngs and ministry, between worship and outreach.

Don't get me wrong! Visiting the cathedrals at York and Canterbury, craning my neck to view the high, lofty and vaulted ceilings, marveling at the construction and artistry in carved wood and stone was a wonderful experience. Worshipping in a church where my immigrant ancestors were once members was also a spiritual highlight. But it all means nothing, in England, or in Maryland, if the people who attend services in these buildings don't take the Word out into the world.

I'm still processing what this means... and how I'll make a difference here in my zipcode...

From our home to yours,
Deb