In the morning...

Satisfy us in the morning with Your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as You have afflicted us,
and for as many years as we have seen evil.
Let your work be shown to Your servants,
and Your glorious power to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us;
yes establish the work of our hands!
[Psalm 90:14-17]

This Psalm came to mind as I saw the morning sun sift through the needs on the evergreen outside my study window. The pairing of light and shade, sunlight and shadow reminded me of the duality of the circumstances I walk in every day...
...a citizen of two worlds
...a wife and a mom
...a student and a friend
...a woman and a pastor

Sometimes I forget as I start my day that the moments and the minutes ahead of me are given, directed and ordained by God. All of them. Even the ones that make me rejoice, cry, laugh, or hurt. The experiences that show God's power over all circumstances, even though the present picture is pretty bleak.

My prayer today as I hit the books yet again is that God would establish the work of my hands...

Deb

Today's Video...

My husband always wanted to be a pastor's wife...

before I crash...

Had to finish a "conflict personality test" (which was blind and I won't know the score for a few weeks - like I don't know what my conflict style is you bunch 'o idiots??? but I digress...) ANYWAY...

Here's my my results for the free on-line test... I guess it's me??

Your personality type:

Popular and sensitive, with outstanding people skills. Externally focused, with real concern for how others think and feel. Usually dislike being alone. They see everything from the human angle and dislike impersonal analysis. Very effective at managing people issues and leading group discussions. Interested in serving others and probably place the needs of others over their own needs.

Careers that could fit you includes:

Teachers, consultants, psychiatrists, social workers, counselors, clergy, sales representatives, human resources, managers, events coordinators, politicians, diplomats, writers, actors, [web] designers, homemakers, musicians, religious workers.

(I've italicized my job experience, some in a former life... Interesting!)

I guess I have mellowed with age.. I used to be an ESFJ. Now I'm an ENFJ. But I just finished watching ESPN... (BaDUMbum)

Deb

Becoming Benedictine...

In my Church History class, we had to write a reflective essay on the ways that The Rule of St. Benedict could positively impact the Church today. Some of my classmates (in our on-line asynchronous discussion) were appalled because of their strong Catho-phobe stance. I really gained a lot from considering what The Rule might offer...

What first got my attention was actual a little "light reading" I'm doing -- Joan Chittister's book "Wisdom Distilled from the Daily: Living the Rule of St. Benedict Today."* She makes a strong case for learning how to renew and rekindle the spiritual disciplines, not as "rules" but as "means" of deepening our faith and our love for God. I especially liked her admonition to modern and post-modern Christians who seem to obsess over the latest "spiritual gadgetry than numbs our confusions but never fills our spirits or frees or hearts." (*That's not "light reading?" don't laugh -- I'm in seminary -- anything that isn't a required text qualifies!)

I see a parallel - the "rule" followed to imply spiritual devotion and piety vs. today's high-guilt performance anxiety. I've been a part of the "high guilt" groups... memorize this and do that and sign here and teach that... I don't think I will ever go back! And, the subculture that seems to infect much of modern Christianity is no less bound in "rules" than the time of Benedict, however cool and trendy and open-minded we think we are.

Anyway... here's three short "rules" I'm trying to use in my faith walk...

1. Actions vs. words: “We are heard not for our much speaking, [sic] but for our purity of heart and tears of contrition” Times of silence, meditation, prayer, fasting... for me, it helps bring my heart into alignment with God's. It's a space made for a major attitude adjustment.
2. Live unselfishly: “All things shall be common to all…” Christmas is coming. Dare I suggest a "buy-free" holiday? Will I remember that there are millions of people who are truly "needy" and there is little I really "need?" Can I continue to wrestle with this desire for "things" that replace God in my use of my time, talents and treasure??
3. Serve willingly: “Let no one in the monastery follow his own inclinations." This isn't to say we need to get into some kind of "High Shepherding" church... or to only do the things "pastor says..." I'm not trying to campaign for demagoguery. I'm thinking about how I am unexcited about the "invisible" acts of service that no one but God knows about. The way I will find "anyone" (else) to take on a chore or (dare I say it?) head a committee. The theme song of the Church and my service in it probably shouldn't be Sinatra ("I did it MY way.")

Chittister has one more quote I'd like to offer...
“Benedictine spirituality… teaches people to see the world as good, their needs as legitimate, and human support as necessary;” it requires seeing our lives in a “wide angle lens;” we can’t separate the spiritual from the physical. Truthfully? Even though we say we believe this, we don't really live it.

thoughtfully...

Deb

In the... You've GOT to be kidding department

In the "You've GOT to be kidding!!" department...

Perusing Freecycle while I wait for dinner to cook, I read this gem:

13. wanted: musical instuments

Posted by: namedeleted@yahoo.com

Date: Fri Oct 3, 2008 12:35 pm ((PDT))

looking for something for my two boys, 2 & 4. Drum, cymbals, guitar.

Sturdy is key. Thanks

HUH??? Boys. Ages 2 and 4. Drums, cymbals and guitar. Does the wise and sane parent even seriously put those together???

The mental image and ear-drum torture is... stunning.

Bemused...
Deb

Hold Fast To Dreams

I lost my keys. OK... I didn't really lose them. I left them at my office and had to go retrieve them after I thought I was home for the night. As a result, I had a quiet, late night jaunt about town, alone with talk radio and no one in particular on the road.

I've been praying a lot about what God is speaking into my life right now. No, I'm not in crisis. God's been doing a lot of "talking" and, for a change, I have been listening.

There are issues and circumstances that are, shall we say, sub-optimal. There are decisions I have to make about these circumstances. The good news is it's not life-threatening or a pressing issue that I have to make a decision about TODAY.

I realized as I was driving tonight that it's been a series of gentle revelations... Seeing. Hearing. Watching. Pondering. ...and then, responding.

I thought a dream had "died" but God has made it clear - NO. PRESS ON. This is a test of perseverance. Of commitment to what has already revealed to me, and all that is ahead.

Two poems by Langston Hughes came to mind...

Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams go,
Life is a barren field, Frozen with snow.

AND...

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Scriptures I have read recently came back in a flood...

Psalm 31

23 Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.

24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.


Psalm 33

16 No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.

17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.

18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

19 to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.

20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.


Psalm 119

113 I hate double-minded men,
but I love your law.

114 You are my refuge and my shield;
I have put my hope in your word.

115 Away from me, you evildoers,
that I may keep the commands of my God!

116 Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live;
do not let my hopes be dashed.

Proverbs 13

12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

God is keeping me open-hearted and willing to be changed. I lay no claim to understanding the whys of all this... but I believe God is in the midst of it. And that's something that gives me... HOPE!

Peace-
Deb

Friday FIve: Saint Francis Day

Sally from RevGalBlogPals writes:

Today is the day that we remember and celebrate the life of St Francis of Assisi, here is a description of his early life:

Often named the Patron Saint of Animals and the Environment, there is much more to St Francis:

Saint Francis is called the little poor man of Assisi. He was born in the year 1182 in the town of Assisi in Italy. His father's name was Bernadone. Bernadone was a very wealthy merchant of Assisi. Francis was a very good-looking boy. He was merry and soft-hearted. So he had many friends. All the noble men's sons were his companions.

Francis was brought up in luxury and gaiety. He spent a considerable portion of his wealth in extravagant pleasures. He used to drink with the young princes of the land.

One day Francis was joking and laughing with his friends. A beggar came along crying for alms. Francis, who was soft-hearted, gave whatever he had in his pocket to the beggar. His companions mocked at him for his charitable act. Dispassion dawned in his heart. The sight of the beggar set him thinking about the poverty and misery of mundane life. He gave much money to the poor. His father thought that Francis was wasting his money and rebuked him.

Sometime after this, Francis was laid up in bed for many months on account of some serious disease. He was about to die. But the Lord saved him as he had to carry out a definite mission in his life. The nature of Francis was entirely changed. Francis prayed to the Lord for light and guidance as to his future. He had a vision of Lord Jesus. He made a strong determination to renounce his old way of living to tread a life of purity and to dedicate his life to the service of humanity.

As soon as Francis got well, he informed his parents of his determination. They were disappointed. They became angry with Francis. Francis gave up his old ways and habits and set up to serve God. He distributed clothes, goods and money to the poor. His father was very much annoyed towards his son. He said, "Is this the gratitude you show to me ? I laboured hard and amassed wealth. You are lavishly wasting it on these miserable wretches".

Francis' friends mocked at him and teased him. His father turned him out of the house. Francis lived like a beggar. His old friends even pelted him with stones and mud. He bore everything with patience. He wore a coarse dress and ate simple food.

Francis went on to travel from village to village preaching the love of God. He invited people to join him in his life of service if they were willing. Bernard, a rich man of Assisi, was very much attracted by the saintliness of Francis. He joined Francis. He was the first follower of Francis. He placed all his wealth at the altar of God. Eleven others also joined Francis. They distributed all their wealth to the poor. Francis and his followers went all over Italy preaching, teaching, healing and blessing wherever they went.

The gospel of kindness and love of Francis soon spread all over Europe and earned for him the name of St. Francis. People called him the little poor man of Assisi. He lived for ever in the hearts of all men.

St. Francis collected many followers and founded the Order of Mendicant Friars or Franciscans. The members of this Order have to take a vow of poverty, chastity, love and obedience.
St. Francis gave up his mortal coil in 1228.

I would like to dedicate this Friday Five to St Francis of Assisi.

HERE are Sally's questions....

1. Saint Francis experienced a life changing call, has anything in your journey so far challenged you to alter your lifestyle?
Probably I spend a LEETLE more time thinking about what I look like and how I'm dressed. I consider how grubby I can be when meeting someone for coffee or an appointment. PeaceBang has changed my perspective on this forever. A big MUAH! to PeaceBang...

2. Francis experienced mocking and persecution, quite often in the comfortable west this is far from our experience. If you have experienced something like this how do you deal with it, if not how does it challenge you to pray for those whose experience is daily persecution?
I do not think Christians in the US are "persecuted" for our beliefs. We might be made fun of (because of televangelists or presidents of Christian academia who say stooopid things) but we are not persecuted! Inconvenienced? maybe.

I have a personal prayer commitment for the Persecuted Church. It has made me stop and consider how blessed we are, and how much we have in terms of access and freedoms! (If you don't have the materials, you can get really good ones at the IDOP website. BTW - the international day of prayer for the Persecuted Church is November 9th...

3 .St Francis had female counterpart in St Clare, she was influenced by St Francis sermon and went on to found the Poor Clare's, like the Franciscans they depended on alms this was unheard of for women in that time, but she persisted and gained permission to found the order. How important are role models like St Clare to you? Do you have a particular female role model whose courage and dedication inspires you? If so share their story....
There are several role models for me in women pastors who have broken the mold, so to speak. She has shown by example that the way of Christ (for any pastor) is one of perseverance. Right now, Ruth is a huge example to me of trusting God -- She is an Episcopal priest caught in the kerfuffle of diocesan politics... I find her to be wise, encouraging and challenges me to rest and trust in all of God's Providence for my life, work, ministry and family.

4. Francis loved nature and animals, how important is an expressed love of the created world to the Christian message today?
We only get one Earth. God charged us with being its caretakers. I believe that we are in disobedience if we do NOT take the environmental needs and abuses around us seriously!

5. On a lighter note; have you ever led a service of blessing for animals, or a pet service, was it a success, did you enjoy it, and would you do it again?
Can't say I have ever helped lead one. We happened on one at a local Episcopal church several years ago, and it was amusing to watch the dog/cat/bunny owners try to keep their pets from scaring/tasting/attacking each other...

Deb

Incredibly funny...

Did you get a BINGO?

Deb

Trying to get there from here...

Festival of Homiletics is coming in May... the stock market tumble killed any financial "slush fund" we had. (I'm chuckling as I write that - it was more like an "ice cube" than a "slush".)

Hoping and praying that...
- I can find time with my classes to go
- We can find the money to register and get me there
- I can find a cheap place to stay closeby so I don't have to drive and/or rent a car

Yeah. It's possible.

d

Apples to Apples...

I read this today on TheOoze:

Someone once pointed out to me that the goal of an apple tree is not to produce more apples. It's to produce more apple trees. This is the organic purpose found in nature, and it's the organic purpose of the Body of Christ as well.

When an apple tree produces apples that's important. You can't really be an apple tree and not produce apples, of course. But if everything ended there the apple tree would not have achieved the purpose for which God designed it. The apple tree must produce more apple trees in order to realize its full potential. Otherwise, when that tree dies, so does the potential for creating more apples.

In the context of the Christian church I see too many pastors and church leaders who are terrified of taking their brightest and most talented and releasing them into the world. They feel that losing those gifted, intelligent, talented individuals will somehow make their church poorer and weaker. So they expend a whole lot of energy trying to keep those people busy and connected and plugged in to what they are doing instead of encouraging them to discover their gifting and calling and releasing them to go and to do whatever it is that God has created them for.

A church that practiced encouraging growth like this would be responsible for spawning ministries and providing good fruit for the community on an exponential level. It would also be living out the command of Scripture to seek the good of others around us rather than selfishly seeking our own good. (Philippians 2:3)

Usually the only way someone with talent and vision ever leaves one church to start another is when they leave under protest and start something all by themselves. Why? Because most pastors will tell you that they are not ready to start planting a church until they reach 500 members. The problem with that is when you realize that the average church in America is only about 250 to 300 people. Most never reach the 500 mark, and honestly when they do reach that milestone few of those churches ever actually plant another church because they have not planned to do so.

SOooo... this makes me stop and think and believe for all of the "orchard possibilities" in my life, and where God may "plant" me in the future.

Somehow, the room just got a little brighter. It's called HOPE.

Deb