Quiet moments this morning...

sometimes... it's a passing shadow, a mere suggestion.
sometimes... it's fighting for the sunny spot on the carpet. and...
sometimes... it's choosing to walk away.

Cats. Imitating life and conflict resolution.

Explaining the unexplainable...

I've tried to write a couple of blog posts and deleted them. Somehow I can't get into words the deeper things I'm pondering.

Part of it is the nature of being a little more "public" a person than I used to be. That's the prideful part of me getting in the way... ("What will they think if I admit that I struggle with...??")

Yeah right. I am making myself out to be much more important than I am. I mean, President Obama asked me to give that inaugural prayer and I had to decline because of my classes. RIiiiiiight.

No. That's not it.

It's a process of wanting to articulate what I'm pondering as fairly and as objectively as one can when the writing is all reflective. And it's a process of self-editing because in the rare moment when I write out of objectivity, I don't want to backhand blast people because I personally think they are idiots. In a holy and pastoral sort of post, of course.

Like every student and pastor I know, there's questions that don't get answered quickly...

• the hows and whys of things...
• the meanings behind words and phrases...
• the simple pain that comes into the world...
• the lack of feeling and/or logic in other human beings...
• the raw exhaustion of wondering why the ???? stuff keeps happening...

In mulling over systematics this morning, I realized part of the problem I've been facing. If I really and truly put it into words, will it be believable? And will anyone besides me find it makes sense?

Or will it just be another test of the Emergency Yodeling Button?
Whoosh.
That's it.

Boy, I'm glad I got that figured out.

Deb

P.S. The button is at Archie McPhee -- just in case you need one, too.

before I crash...

Had to finish a "conflict personality test" (which was blind and I won't know the score for a few weeks - like I don't know what my conflict style is you bunch 'o idiots??? but I digress...) ANYWAY...

Here's my my results for the free on-line test... I guess it's me??

Your personality type:

Popular and sensitive, with outstanding people skills. Externally focused, with real concern for how others think and feel. Usually dislike being alone. They see everything from the human angle and dislike impersonal analysis. Very effective at managing people issues and leading group discussions. Interested in serving others and probably place the needs of others over their own needs.

Careers that could fit you includes:

Teachers, consultants, psychiatrists, social workers, counselors, clergy, sales representatives, human resources, managers, events coordinators, politicians, diplomats, writers, actors, [web] designers, homemakers, musicians, religious workers.

(I've italicized my job experience, some in a former life... Interesting!)

I guess I have mellowed with age.. I used to be an ESFJ. Now I'm an ENFJ. But I just finished watching ESPN... (BaDUMbum)

Deb

In the... You've GOT to be kidding department

In the "You've GOT to be kidding!!" department...

Perusing Freecycle while I wait for dinner to cook, I read this gem:

13. wanted: musical instuments

Posted by: namedeleted@yahoo.com

Date: Fri Oct 3, 2008 12:35 pm ((PDT))

looking for something for my two boys, 2 & 4. Drum, cymbals, guitar.

Sturdy is key. Thanks

HUH??? Boys. Ages 2 and 4. Drums, cymbals and guitar. Does the wise and sane parent even seriously put those together???

The mental image and ear-drum torture is... stunning.

Bemused...
Deb

In the WOW... department

I have heard of crazy schemes... but this takes the cake.

A church in South Bend, Indiana built an ark (1/7 scale) to cap off their summer studies of Noah's ark. (For some reason, they don't have this on their website. But Church Relevance does...)

YES... A real ark. Of wood.

If you'd like it, all you have to do is go get it. Read more about it here...

I am still trying to figure out...
- how you spend a SUMMER studying about the ark with children
- why you would build an ark
- who is crazy enough to go get it

and... in the words of Bill Cosby, playing Noah...

"What's a cubit?"

Geesh...

Deb

What do you say?

I have no clue.

So, at the moment, I am trying very hard to say... NOTHING.

Deb

wrapping my brain around...

there's things I'm trying to wrap my brain around and am not succeeding...

such as...

...why people try to cut corners on home improvements and do work that requires a license or a permit themselves.

...why people put perfectly good bicycles in the trash - I saw them the other day at the recycling station!

...where do all of the dumpsters of trash go? how many a day/week/month/year enter and leave the trash station near me?

...why people who have just potty trained their kids get a puppy!!! (or a cat. or a gerbil. whatever. the critters don't flush, KWIM?)

...why certain factions in our society would NEVER allow a woman to lead or direct a program or function in their organization, but would vote for a woman for VP...


I await your collective wisdom...

Deb

Major Oogies.

Haven't figured out a lot of things that God has done... including why God created mosquitos... or palmetto bugs... or these...

Talk amongst yaselves...

Deb

Dumber than a 4th grader

I know that I'm old school but this is ridiculous.

Apparently there are 11 planets in our solar system (or, if you wish to be technical, 8 planets and 3 dwarf planets.) OK, so I am not a person with a bend towards science. But I thought I had a handle on a few facts for this end of the galaxy.

Geesh.

Deb

What is it? Gremlins?

OK, earlier in the week we had the death by fours thing.

Later that day, our (voice) landline suddenly stopped working (but the DSL line was fine.) So I filed a trouble ticket and was told the repairs would happen today.

This morning I went to plug in a phone just so the repairman could call the line, expecting to hear... nothing... and there was a dial tone. I go to the Verizon site to cancel the "trouble ticket" and there wasn't one. I go to find the email which tells me I filed a "trouble ticket" and couldn't find it.

But now my new cell phone doesn't work. What is this????

As the pièce de résistance...
Remember my lovely hand vacuum?? It's working again. No smoke. No bang.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

If my kids hadn't been here to witness it, I would have doubted my sanity!

Deb

Advent musing: "Testify"

Jesus

			"I am the way, the truth and the life" Male 33 years old Jerusalem, Israel Last Login: 12/15/2007
View My: Pics | Videos

Some of you know I have pages up on MySpace and FaceBook. It's an easy way to keep up with trends and thoughts (and photos) of -- ahem -- "younger" friends. (Besides, I always did like a good Food Fight!)

This morning, however, I was caught off guard when I noted that a couple of my MySpace buddies have "Jesus" as a Top Friend. Actually, as their #1 friend. So... I went and read the person's page. They seem like honest, God-loving types. They don't think that they are divine, just that they worship One who is.

The kicker came when I clicked on the "add as friend" button... and the dialogue box came up:
"do you want to have Jesus as a friend?"

Possibly seen as sacrilegious by some. Possibly seen as fanatical by others. I found it intriguing that the God of the Universe would be portrayed on a MySpace page.

Guess we need to change the words of the hymn:
"Let ev'ry MySpace page prepare Him room..."

Or... maybe not...

Deb

makes no sense

Yeah... there's folks who make
about this much sense in real life too.
The more I try to puzzle it out,
the more stupid it seems!

And, since I have rehearsal in the early a.m.
this cogitator needs to just chuck it
and go to bed...
can't say no mo about this...
just trust me on this one.

Deb

The "Big Ten" - Updated!

It seems that nothing can be explained simply any more. At least, not and have it make sense with a new century's cultural filter in place. I have been reading several books which are post-modern in their thinking (Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis and Sex God among them.)

Curiously, his writing did not seem as far out to me as I had thought it would be.

Radical, yes. Implausible? No...

So with that in mind... when I read the following my first reaction was... Hmmm... makes sense!

Douglas Taylor-Weiss, once suggested a version of the Ten Commandments based on today's culture:

1. Have a good day.

2. Shop.

3. Eliminate pain.

4. Be up-to-date.

5. Relax.

6. Express yourself.

7. Have a happy family.

8. Be entertaining.

9. Be entertained.

10. Buy entertainment.

Yeah. That about says it all!
Deb

For a guy, this is TMI

I have no great theological ponderings today. At least, no more than any other day. But I'm wondering about these unanswered questions of the female universe... and if you are a guy, this is probably TMI, so click on by...

WHY is it so hard to find a nice purse of the right size? WHY (when you do find the right size) must that purse look like it fell out of the foo-foo machine? You know, all blingified and stuff? I found one that sort of works (that isn't a tote bag or a glorified leather-covered black hole). By the time I load in my wallet, albuterol inhaler, checkbook, Palm, cellphone, keys and tissues, it's as heavy as a small suitcase.

WHY isn't there a comfortable bra that does its job without pain, or with straps that look like lederhosen? WHY must they either look like granny boulder holders or like strumpet city? I mean, must the bras which don't make you look cone-shaped or like the prow of a ship PINCH so dang much? And WHO was the idiot who decided that lace on such a tender part of the body would ever be comfortable?

WHY do women think thongs are comfortable? (I will never figure that one out!)

WHY do people tell a woman who is breast-feeding her baby to "go to the bathroom and do that"? Do THEY want to eat their meal in the ambiance of the Ladies' Room? And where do you sit besides... well, you know. I'm just sayin'...

WHO thought of "wings" and WHY did they think that women needed instructions to peel off those little tabs and use them? It ain't rocket science...

WHY do I have to wear "heels" to be dressed up? WHY is my purse supposed to match? Why can't I find a pair of "dress Birkenstocks" and wear those instead?

There. A totally useless blog entry. That is, unless you're a woman.

That's my story and I'm sticking with it!

Deb

avoiding the subject

You've heard the metaphor for avoiding discussing a topic: "ignoring the elephant that's in the room" etc.

I have a new lovely one... "stepping over the cat hork on the floor."

Yes, I know it's lovely. Charming, actually.

However, as I thought about our 2+ day stand-off over "who" was going to clean the cat hork off of the floor, it seemed to me that there are many times that we all avoid doing something -- until we are shamed into doing it, forced into doing it, or draw the short straw.

It's made me ponder...

What is it about humanity that we are fast to judge but slower to act?
Quick to form an opinion but not to think of a resolution?
Does holding out from doing the gracious thing because it is "someone else's turn" make me more noble, or more stubborn??
and...
Were any of us showing a servant Spirit? (no...)

So -- what could I have done?

I could have gently put a rag and cleaner in one of the other cat-lovers' hands and said, "Please clean that up. Now." Not complain. Or announce what I was NOT going to do. And definitely not proclaim my over-worked and under-paid status. ...or be self-righteous.

The defensive walls went up and no one cleaned it up. For 2 1/2 days... it didn't happen. Was that stupid or what???

Because sometimes, it seems to me, when we have to help other people get over other people's (or cat's) messes, we have to guide them through it. OR we can let them step around it and not deal with it until some "button" gets pushed. (Which in this case was an explosion by yours truly... so very unpretty!)

I'm sure there's a sermon in there somewhere. Especially since I didn't come out smelling so rosy on this one myself.

I hope next time I'll cough up (sorry) a little servant attitude next time.

Deb

HOLY COW

HOLY COW...

For the first time this last weekend, I was introduced before I spoke as a "seminarian" and I felt ...pretty good about it

...scared
...completely un-ready
...very human
...and not that holy

And when I shared that with another pastor, he said with a grin, "that only proves that you are ready!"

Just a hmmmmmmmmmmm. That's all!

Deb

Hmmm file...

I'm not blaming any relationship mistakes I've made on my parents... in fact, I am grateful for the secure start in life they gave me. But I really liked this article in the Washington Post this morning. Among other things, it reminded me that soothing a crying infant instead of letting them "cry it out" is a good thing. Which gives me hope that perhaps we are over the era of Dr. Spock and Gary Ezzo*, and are moving into an era of healthier parenting. *See footnote!

The study closely tracked 78 people over a quarter-century, starting when they were babies. Mothers and infants were brought into a laboratory, and the mothers were asked to leave briefly. The infants became upset, of course, but the psychologists were interested in what happened when the mothers returned. Some infants clung tightly to their mothers and sought comfort. In a little while, they calmed down. But others refused to calm down even after lengthy soothing. And some babies refused to turn to their mothers for comfort at all.

Simpson said research has shown that secure infants turn to their parents when they are upset: "The kid learns, 'I can count on my parents to calm me down.' They learn to turn to others. Whereas insecure kids learn that my parent is either rejecting or they learn my parent is neglectful. Or 'I have to protest to get attention.' "

Why is this so hard to accept? Why do we want to treat infants like children, and children like young adults? Why do we wonder about "kids today" who don't trust their parents? It seems like a no-brainer to me...

"We find if you are insecure at age 1, that predicts being rated as being less socially competent than your peers during grades one-two-three, which predicts less reliance on your best same-sex friend when you are upset at 16, which then predicts more negative emotion in a romantic relationship at age 21 to 23," Simpson said.

Does this mean all insecure infants are doomed to a lifetime of unhappiness? Simpson argued otherwise. Human destiny is not so circumscribed, he said. What the study showed is how each developmental step influences the next, positively or negatively. While it is certainly best to be started in the right direction, people can always learn the skills needed for successful relationships.

That is what parenting is all about, isn't it? Giving our kids the basis to live, started in the right direction, towards building successful relationships?

"Contrary to the popular American myth that people left to fend for themselves become strong and independent, the psychological research seems to show exactly the opposite is true: It is the people who are confident enough to reach out to others for help -- and to whom help is given -- who become truly capable of independence...

"It is a lot easier for people to take risks and accept challenges when they know someone is available to help them and comfort them if something goes wrong," Feeney said. "The most secure individuals are able to turn to other people for support."

Wait, wait... where have I heard that before???

The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

Now the body is not made up of one part but of many.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

I Corinthians 12: 12-14, 27

Just makes me wanna go Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Deb

(*NOTE: If you have never heard of Gary Ezzo, or if their program "Growing Kids God's Way" has never hit your church, be grateful! A site that explains the many problematic issues with Ezzo's parenting philosophy is here. In the interests of being fair, you can find his self-promotions are here and here.)

Good Papers...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
-- George Burns

SOOOO... how come the secret of a good paper is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as FAR APART as possible??

I'm just askin'...

Deb

connections

Or lack thereof...

I don't understand the reasons why I can have DSL working fine, but have no phone service... If it's physics please don't explain it to me. I'll just chalk it up to earthly knowledge that I don't really need. Or to Verizon and their continually bad website design and phone messaging service and no way to find out whassup.

Two papers to work on, dinner for the fam and maybe, just MAYBE I will get to play tomorrow if I work hard today.

It doesn't stop me from wondering if just maybe there's a deep philosophical meaning in phone and DSL connectivity and connections with God... but I can't go there...

NO NO NO!!! NOT LISTENING!!!

back to work...
Deb

The Teacup

There was a couple who used to go England to shop in a beautiful antique store. This trip was to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially tea-cups. Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked to see it because they had never seen one quite so beautiful. As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the tea-cup spoke.

You don't understand, it said, I have not always been a tea-cup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "Don't do that. I don't like it! Let me alone!"

But he only smiled, and gently said; "Not yet!!"

Then, WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. "Stop it ! I'm getting so dizzy! I'm going to be sick!" I screamed.

But the Master only nodded and said quietly, "Not yet."

He spun me and poked and prodded and bent me out of shape to suit himself and then He put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. "Help! Get me out of here!"

I could see Him through the opening and I could read His lips as He shook his head from side to side, "Not yet."

When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! "Ah, this is much better," I thought. But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. "Oh, please; Stop it, Stop it!!" I cried.

He only shook his head and said, "Not yet!"

Then suddenly he put me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited...
...and waited, wondering, "What's he going to do to me next?"

An hour later he handed me a mirror and said, "Look at yourself." And I did. I said, "That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!"

Quietly He spoke: "I want you to remember, then," He said. "I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you."

The moral of this story is this:
God knows what He's doing for each of us. He is the Potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us, and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect will. So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to "stink", try this....

Brew a cup of your favorite tea in your nicest tea cup, sit down and think on this story and then...
...have a little talk with the Potter.