Wednesday, May 14, 2008


This is hard.

I am trying to write an essay to the divinity school financial aid committee which explains how I need financial aid, what my goals for ministry are, and why they should "pick me!"

Somehow "Just give me the money!" is not the kind of essay they are looking for, I suspect.

These last few days, there have been all kinds of "holes" poked in my emotional balloon...
...snarky little comments
...interpersonal challenges
...condescending people
...failings and struggles out the wazoo (mine)

I know one does not serve God based on "feelings" but on faith. Yet the process of fighting for my dreams, of resting in my Call (and not defending or justifying it) has me just, well, deflated.

This emotional battle, this spiritual push to persevere is so tiring. And I'm not in "real" ministry yet... It's just the warm up? Geesh.


1 comment:

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

I am so very very sorry that I have not been reading blogs. I wish I had found this post sooner. I just want to fix you some iced tea and have you sit on my couch and talk.

I could tell you all the lofty things but, even though they are true, they still suck.

I know this: you are a wonderful beautiful woman and I could so write that for you and send it in.