Tuesday, January 30, 2007

This really IS homework...

Yes, seriously. This really is homework! Below is a question I have to answer... easier than many I have to finish and kinda fun to express my understanding of a passage in my own off-beat way... (and WAY more fun than a lexicon exercise, anyway!)

THE QUESTION:
Using Habakkuk 3:17-19, reword it in a way that would be relevant for a 21st century group.

OPTION ONE:
For MySpace users:

Though my profile page is updated daily
And no one adds me as a “Friend”
Though the surveys in my Bulletins
Are dissed or ignored
Though my blog entries get no kudos
And my music video doesn’t load

I will give God a shout out
I will upload my raves to Him
He not only is my Rock
But I will rock out with Him
He is always my Top Friend
And He gives me some love in my comments every day. (MUAH!)
(For the chief programmer, accompanied by my iTunes.)


OPTION TWO:
For Soccer Moms: (I'm a little rude on this one...)

Though the Kiss-n-Ride line is blocked by a school bus
And I have a flat tire on the entrance ramp to the Beltway,
Though my kid missed the cut for the travelling squad
And I forgot to make cupcakes for the team party,
Though my stylist messed up my highlights
And my manicurist is away on vacation

I will trust in God's love
and I will relax and pretend the traffic is a spa treatment.
I will seek God as my Trainer forever
He will help me into my spandex
And keep my cellulite banned forever.
(For the Chief yard man, accompanied by his lawnmower...)


OPTION THREE:

For the oil company executives:

Though the oil futures have tanked
And the commuters start riding their bicycles
Though the oil wells have all run dry
And the refineries are blown up by terrorists
Though the stockholders vote me out of office
And I have to work at McDonald's

Yet I will believe in God's eternal oil reserve
I will drive my Mercedes on fumes
God is my oil tank, my gas tank and battery
He fills my heart, if not my tank
He helps me run on "empty"
(For the Chief car mechanic, accompanied by the oil rigs)

OPTION FOUR:
For the seminary student (you knew it was coming...)

Though the professor assigns hours of translation,

And someone stole my interlinear text,
Though my exegesis gets an "F"
And my homiletics put people to sleep,
Though my laptop drive crashes
And my paper was not backed up

Yet I will dance and sing my way across campus,
I will be grateful for God's unfailing love.
The Lord is my loving professor,
He helps me pay off my student loans
And makes me able to graduate.
(For the Dean of students, accompanied by my printer.)


Hmmm... wonder which one is the "A"...

From our home to yours...
Deb

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You really REALLY need to get out more!
;)

t

QuakerPastor said...

I like them all--but can relate with the last one best.You must be a 1 on the eneagram

Reverend Dona Quixote said...

I laughed most at the soccer-mom one for some reason, probably because I am about the farthest thing from a soccer mom you could imagine ... but I'd submit the myspace one, although they're all good.

Anonymous said...

myspace gets my vote.

leah said...

Well, I meant my comment on "I am Unique" to go on this blog--sorry!

Trish said...

Haha! They all were cool. I liked the MySpace one the best though. You really have the language down! W00t!

Sally said...

love these, My favs are the first and last ones- but they all get an A from me!!!